Does anyone read this blog?? I'll give you a couple of days to respond. . . I'll check back soon!

The weather has started off wonderful this week. . . and should be good on Saturday too!! ^^ Today, we went to get our marraige license and some last minute stuff for the wedding, so that is exciting. My fiance's parents are coming Friday night from Seoul and her older sister from Sydney, so that is also exciting! Everything helps that puts you in a better mood, despite the economic crisis that we are ourselves kind of in the middle of. . . but let's not get into this on this perfectly bright post!

Congratulations to my friends who got married on Saturday in Mexico!!

Our Wedding

Hi, I just wanted to post again after a long while, the first one back in America.

Just wanted to give you an update on our upcoming wedding on March 21st. It has been fun planning probably since we picked the date way back about the first week of January. It is a rather small wedding and we invited quite a few people knowing that quite a few of those wouldn't be able to make it ~ which is all good! I have been pretty much the "bride" and my parents like the "bride's parents" because we have had to plan everything. I am really happy how things have turned out though and we have taken care of almost all the details including flowers and guest favors, etc. It should be fun and we are really happy that her parents are coming from Seoul and her sister from Sydney. I look forward to being able to show pictures from this day after the event of course. . . exciting!!

What is not exciting is having to do all the paperwork and send in all the money (expensive) for the visa part after we get married. It really is ridiculous all the hurdles you have to go through, I am all about protecting the country, but come on!

Hi, it is late here now about 12:55 on Friday night. I just got back from my girlfriend's parents' house tonight, which I have been going to everyday now for maybe the past two weeks. I am never at home, I feel like this could be some kind of test. Tonight, I was totally disgusted when the mom brought back live octopus, which they know I don't like. She cut them up and with their legs still moving put them on the table while her father and her ate them. I couldn't even really look at it, my girlfriend got very upset. But what can you do??

Other that with work and everything else going on, including that I am pretty sure I only have about six weeks left of doing. Then church, and studying Korean, everything. . . I am quit exhausted. And on top of that I can't really talk to anyone about the situation because we are still not really open at church about us. . . which is very frustrating STILL(which is ridiculous - I know) because of her parents.

There is so much going on. . . I can't even think straight anymore and my body feels like a 50 year old man instead of a 25 year old in his peak. Lately, as sad as it is I almost wish I could just get sick and have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days just so I could get some rest and a little more attention. I am tired of sometimes always working or trying to impress someone, and having to do something to prepare for whatever. My girlfriend feels the same way, but. . . . what can we do??

It is just hard sometimes to believe that God is going to let us be happy and it will be sooner than later. After working so hard, and trying to do what is best and right and getting God's blessing isn't that enough?? Please don't worry about me, even though I feel like crying every single day. . .

We will be happy soon. . . just sometimes it is hard and frustrating to not be able to get the happiness that we feel like we deserve. God will make that in His time!

Hi Everyone - - - I thought I would write a post for a change, kind of random one at that. I know some people have asked me what dramas are like in Korea. Well, last night one that I have been watching for a while finally finished. It was 104 chapters and it was on Saturday and Sunday nights from 10-11:15 maybe. . . so about a year. Anyway, the title translates to "The Wife I First Married Club" similar to first wife probably. Anyway, it was about this family and they are not a rich family, just common people. This drama was interesting because it mainly had to do with everyday people and not the rich that we always see in dramas. So, their is a father and a mother and they have two sons and one daughter. Somewhere along the line, the father gets another lover and basically treats the first wife like crap, and hits her and does many bad things in front of the kids. Basically, they don't get a divorced and the second woman lives with them while the first wife stays there because in Korea, a wife that runs away or something like that is still looked at as very bad.

So, fast track to the kids are grown up and the first son marries a woman and has a kid, but later he too takes a second woman and the first one leaves. Granted that the second woman he took also left her husband and daughter. That is one child of this family.

The daughter a good woman, marries a man and has two daughters. He is a playboy though and treats her really bad too and leaves her. She still lives with her father though and that house, her husband was a doctor and wanted to be a professor. He was handsome and basically tried to play himself to a good position, but then he got caught and couldn't get another job at a hospital at Seoul.

The third child, a son is a good man and marries a woman and basically there was not a lot there. He was the good child and was very hurt that his family had all of these problems, especially his older brother.

So, the first son, his first wife meets another man (younger than her) and from a rich family. . . which is kind of not stereotypical here in Korea. They fall in love, but he is engaged to another woman who his father wants him to marry and he is a big CEO of some company. The father finds out he loves this common woman who is older than him and has a son and is extremely upset and very against the relationship. He tells his son many times you can't meet her, and goes to her work where she works and threatens her many times, saying that she has to break up with his son. Then his son is so upset and doesn't listen to his father so his father hires men to take his son away and do whatever it takes to keep him away from his lover. Then on top of all this, the woman's first husband, the oldest son, finds out about this and becomes very jealous and wants her back. He starts treating his second wife like crap, hitting her and trying to throw her out of the house, etc. She starts to drink heavily, and at the end almost committs suicide because she has nothing and has lost everything. No one cares about her. This story was basically the main part, and finally at the end after many things that happen and being hurt too much the woman and her lover are together, after the father finally agreed about the relationship. The oldest son loses everything too and feels guilty and blames his father for everything because he set the example about the second wife and thought it was great. He ends up at the end after everything finding the second woman after they have been hurt a lot, and they all together.

The daughter of this family too was hurt too much because after her husband left she met another man. This man she met when he was about to jump off a bridge and committ suicide because his wife left him with their son to America. They fall in love, but somehow his first wife gets pregnent later but it might have or not have been his son. However, he doesn't love her and they plan to get married, but the first wife wants him back. And then she is pregnent and has the baby so he is responsible for that, so it is too hard. This couple was engaged and then broke up but they finally ended up getting married. The daughter's father wrote a letter to her that she found on her honeymoon saying how sorry he was for all the pain he caused her mother and her for taking the second wife because after that she stopped calling him father. The last episode she is happy and pregnent again.

Finally, after all of this the lesson was learned by everyone after all of the hurt and pain how stupid some of them were and how hurt everyone was. I don't know how to translate it this in English, but Koreans say "너무 힘들고 어려워요" so difficult and exhausting. Anyway, in the very last episode the whole main family is together and the father apologizes to his first wife, the mother on her birthday privately saying, "I am sorry for everything and thank you for staying and keeping the family together" after twenty or thirty years. They are crying and happy that their family is okay.

This drama was good because I think it revealed a lot of Korea's culture and the way people think about love. In Korea, love is hard because of family responsibilities, parents (who are often opposed to their kids relationships), and how men and women view love in Korea (especially traditonally) but the younger generations or changing. This drama was tiring to watch sometimes, but I am glad I finished it and could give you a little glimpse into Korean dramas.

I watched the last two episodes at my girlfriend's parents' house with her parents. . . which is a blessing that that is possible now after everything. Praise God!

Hi there. . . I thought I would write something down on this late night. . . my birthday will be over in four minutes by Korean time. Yes, I am 25 now, and still 26 in Korean age. I like 25 better for some reason. . . I think this was the age that a while back I decided that I was going to stop at as far as the whole ageing process goes, if that is okay!

Just so everyone knows my girlfriend, did get back to Korea safely last Saturday morning very early for the Chuseok holiday (Korea Thanksgiving) weekend. It was very very great to see her after being apart for six weeks. We will not talk about how much my cell phone bill was for last month. . . I am very happy to say that I had dinner at her parents' house on Monday night for the first time ever, so that was great! Her father seems to be accepting now of us I think. . .which after a lot of praying and doing many things it is a good feeling. We also bought couple rings that day, which is a Korean thing. So, just now I am very happy!

Except this week since about Wednesday I have been too tired and have had headaches and my body just feels out of wack. I have been sleeping enough, but I just don't feel good and exhausted all the time. Tomorrow I have to wake up early because I have to go to a workshop for all the campuses in Seoul and the surrounding area all day. It will be a great learning experience and fun or NOT!! Then hopefully tomorrow night we will meet and then church on Sunday and there goes another precious weekend! Next weekend we will try to go somewhere maybe on Saturday nice for my birthday. Tonight I got off work at 8 as usual and we went to a restaurant/cafe very nice. . . but didn't stay as long as I wanted. I am too tired so that makes me very sad right now especially since I could careless about the workshop tomorrow. I will be there in body, but my mind will check in and out I am sure.

There will be some more big and major news in my life in the months to come, but until we know officially what is going on, let's wait. . .

So, who wants me to try to this blog??

So, who wants me to try to keep this blog going??

Can you believe it?? It is March already, well actually February went a bit slower than January. . . but it was very busy!

Things are going well here, nothing really new to report just work, church, and being with my girlfriend of course!

I thought I had more to say right now, but I just feel tired instead. . . . sorry . . .

Just trying to keep this dying blog alive.

Hello Everyone! ~~ It has been a long time since I have last posted. . . well along time for me anyway. I remember my last year in university when I posted what like every other day about my practicum or something else that doesn't seem that important these days. Funny how life changes with new challenges and events so suddenly. . . like how is it February of 2008 already, really where did January go??

February will go even faster since it is a shorter month and it is like the busiest most stressful month at my job of the year! Next week we only work two days though since it is the Lunar New Year, so that will be nice. I am being observed twice on Monday from some people from the main campus of the academy I work at, a little stress. What if I am the worst teacher ever and they tell me to go back to America quick?? Then we have the semester ending and parent interviews with preschool kid mothers. . . oh how fun! And then getting ready and starting a whole new year of preschoolers.

Everything else is going well. . . I have been studying Korean every Saturday for three hours at an academy. I really like it and seem to be improving, but it is very hard! I am still busy with church and spending time with my girlfriend of course. Just hoping and praying how everything is going to work out for us always, but God will take care of that ~ just wonder a lot sometimes about some things.

That is all for now!

I am Back in Korea.

Yes, I have been back in Korea for a couple of weeks with this point and with my girlfriend coming to the States, coming back and everything I have not found the time to post. I have managed to send out one mass email so at least everyone knows I am okay.

I am doing great, just busy of course and happy to be back. First, my new apartment is 1000x better than my last place. It has three or two and a half rooms maybe and a more western style bathroom which is nice. I am on the third floor in a big apartment complex and have a little terrace where the washing apartment is and such. I have cable, but I haven't watched any TV since I got it last week.

My job is at a prestigious kind of famous academy in Korea. The pay is a lot more so that is a good thing. The hours are better but longer days so kind of tiring. I teach preschoolers in the morning and they are very smart. Like able to write sentences and read most of them and identify the different long and short vowels. I am teaching my one class all four verses of "Here Comes Santa Clause" which they will sing with actions from memory at the Christmas Party on Christmas Eve. They are very cute! Then in the afternoon I teach elementary school children who have a high level of English or who have studied in America or somewhere and then returned to Korea. So things are looking a lot better this time around.

Of course I see my girlfriend everyday and she is here a lot so that is great! Officially it has been 91 days now but we have been seeing each other since the end of June. I will be very sad when she leaves for Germany at the end of January I guess, but at least we will have Christmas together this year!

My girlfriend has gone back to Korea and got there early early this morning. I leave Monday morning and she will pick me up at the airport when I get there on Tuesday night. My family loves her and they don't care that she is older or that she is Korean, but maybe my parents wonder about us. Why does her family and everyone at church still not know about us?? Why do we have to keep it a secret?? Is it so wrong for us to be together?? When are we going to get married?? Are we just friends or do I really love her and want to be with her forever?? What?? Why can't I pressure her more to tell her family and for us to be out in the especially before she goes to Germany?? Is she the boss??



Yes, it is true I will feel better when her family and other people know about us, but I am okay. I have a strong mind and even if we have to keep this secret forever I can be okay, right because of love?? Love is enough and being together wherever that may be. Should I think more about my family and how they want us to live in America again someday especially if we have children??



These past two weeks when she was here was a very special time for both of us. . . but we still have our obstacles to get through too.

I'm Happy!

Of course, I am happy because my girlfriend came to the US from Korea to visit me! She leaves on Friday morning very early after a little bit longer than two weeks. Then, I will go back to Korea next Monday for my new job starting soon. So, far the time time has gone by very fast and we are trying to make the most out of every moment. I am trying not to be one of those people that once they get a girlfriend drop off the planet, but to some regard I feel like that is me a little bit. At the same time, I am not going to make any apologies about that though because I am happy and I am in love!

I will try to share more details later about everything. . . but just letting you know I am still alive and have not forgotten this blog!!

So, life is still not that exciting at the moment. . .but my girlfriend is probably going to come visit me from October 31st till November 16th. This is kind of a big deal and very exciting! We have had some issues with this long distance relationship since I have came back. Things have gotten better and I am hoping everything works out with the travel plans and such. She got a visa already and has reserved plane tickets on the internet. Anyway, so I am a little bit happier these days and then go back to Seoul on November 19th.

In a Slump. .

I don't know if I am experiencing reverse culture-shock blues or what, but since I have came back from Lawrence especially I haven't felt like doing much or seeing anyone. Not that there are many people here that I am still friends with, only about one person. I am sleeping a lot more, but I still feel pretty exhausted all the time. Food isn't the same, or doesn't taste the same, so I feel like I am not eating that much or I feel too full all the time. When I feel like going somewhere that I want to go, it last for only about two minutes. Then I realize I would go by myself or with my parents (which I don't always want), I don't have a lot of money right now and my parents aren't going to give me any. Sometimes, I think what about getting a part-time job, but who is going to hire me for five weeks before I go back to Korea??

I miss my girlfriend a lot, and talking on the phone twice a day and everything else is never enough or not like being there. I hope maybe she comes in November for a couple of days. The distance sometimes only makes me worry more about our relationship and unsure about everything. I know this is probably normal to some extent, I admire people who can pull off the long distance relationship thing.

So please if you have any suggestions for me about what to do to not feel lonely, sad, or whatever all the time!! Other than that, I just stay at home and watch TV, study Korean or German or for the GRE, read, or go outside sometimes for a walk or with the dog. I pretty much only go out with my parents for lunch or dinner or something.

So, I haven't sat down in a while to write anything for this blog. . . .well it has been about a month.



I am back in America now, well until about November 25th and then I will go back to Seoul for my next teaching position. I am excited about that, but I will miss my little brother's wedding next year. I would like to go, of course, but that might not be possible. It is for my future though and my life decisions.

My girlfriend and I. . . well this is the most complicated relationship ever! I don't know how much longer it is going to go, which is very sad, but we will hope!

Other than that, I am going up to Lawrence tomorrow to see some friends and hang out for a few days. Anyway, so my life is as crazy as ever, so stay tuned. I'll try to keep this updated when I can.

That's all for now ~

I Will Come Back to Korea!

Why?? Because we are a couple!!! Yes, after everything that has happened and we have been through she does indeed want me like I have wanted her. It is too late to cancel though my return to the States in October. The best we can pray and hope for is that I find a job before I leave and get that straightened out and come back by the first of November. My life has quite possibly been rather dramatic lately, but now I am very happy. I just have a little stress about the job situation because if I don't find something than that will not be good. But~WOW! I also have stress too because my parents maybe are happy for me but for sure they don't want me to come back here. . . they think I am wasting my life here!

In other news, pray for me to prepare to leave somehow even though I have no time with everything to really do that. Also, for as much energy and power as God can give me maybe because I am lucky to get fours of sleep a night. . . but maybe my mind and body is changing to get used to that because now six hours or more is a lot!!

That is all for now!

I need to make a better understanding of some things I said in my last blog post. First, I am very sad about leaving Korea for many reasons, but that does not mean by any means that I am knocking my American friends or do not want to see you guys. I just don't have any real foreign friends here in Korea, all my friends are Korean. That was my choice, but I shouldn't worry about coming back there and not being able to connect and talk to all of you guys and feel nervous about that because you are my friends!!! That is the important part.

Right now, I don't know but I might come back to Korea for sure. I don't know at all actually, but there is a good job possibility that I could get. At the same time, I don't know if I can though because then I will see this woman that I havel been seeing and will continue to see until I leave. Last night, was a night of truth and realized that I need to change my strong feelings and forget that I was ever in love with her even after two months. I can't really forget or change so easily, but I will have to. Pretty much it isn't possible for us in this culture with her being older and me being older and we are different people. And even if I do come back to Korea things won't change and she might move to Germany in the next three to six months. I would love for it to be possible, but I don't know that even if she ever could have feelings for me in that way. Last night, I didn't really sleep and got home at 2:30. I don't regret anything that has happened though and last night was very beautiful because we ended up talking for about an hour outside at this beautiful place with a beautiful view of the city and great weather.

Going Home. . . .

Yes, you can hear it first on this blog that I will be coming back to the US around the second or third week in October. I don't know the exact date yet, but should soon when I have a plane ticket confirmed. This is really hard for me because I am very upset and sad right now about leaving Korea, but I decided yesterday and told my work to go ahead and get a plane ticket. I have been praying for so long for the job situation to work out, maybe about the woman I have been seeing to become more concrete, and I feel comfortable here. I made it up in my mind to plan on staying and of course right when I do that, that is when God says NO!!

I don't know what I am going to do next with my life. I am really scared and nervous about coming back to the States right now. Maybe I am not American anymore and act more like a Korean person, so people are going to think I am really strange maybe. Plus, I talk like a Korean! It will be an adjustment I think, especially since all my friends are Koreans here. Please pray for me to start preparing for this big change!!

Right now, I am possibly thinking about traveling and taking a trip sometime after I return. I want very much still to go to Spain, but we'll see. . . I only think this now. I can't see myself staying in Missouri for too long at my parents' house or even in the States for that long. I could still come back to Korea, who knows, but maybe try to get my Spanish back in gear and go somewhere with that.

There it is. . . the countdown begins till I leave Korea indefinitely! Only 19 work days for me, my last day is September 28th!!!

Boring Week ~maybe??

Yes, my friend who I am still seeing quit a bit left early this morning for Thailand till Saturday for a church mission trip. This week I will be praying a lot for that of course and thinking about that a lot. I am doing my best to eat a lot this week and work out for muscle and weight gain. However, it could be a little boring this week without seeing her every morning, talking on MSN usually, the text messages throughout the day, and talking usually for at least an hour on the phone after work. I actually find myself feeling kind of down about it, but I know she is coming back and is on mission trip, so I should be happy she is doing God's will. I can't really let anyone know about that at the church either since we aren't a couple and she doesn't like gossip. But that is another much longer story that I will not be sharing on this blog.

In other news, my last day at my current job will be Friday September 28th which is coming up very quickly! I have to get working on finding another position in some academy sooner than later!

The weather is miserably humid and hot at times and August seems to be the rainy season not June and July. My apartment is unbearable at times and I only have one fan. I have mold growing on the fans and can't seem to keep things clean or dry enough ever. I have gotten used to it, but I hope after this my so-so living conditions will be over!

Pray for the mission trip to Thailand this week and that I don't have a heat stroke in my own home!!!