The Current State of Things

(this title might be a little too serious for this post,but oh well. . . )



Well, the current state of things is that my wife is still pregnant, which is a good thing! She shouldn't have had the baby yet, but as of Thursday we just finished the 32nd week, and now we are in the 33rd week! It is getting so close. . . we start labor classes next week at the hospital. The baby is great, she moves so much, it really makes me wife not sleep and feel really uncomfortable sometimes. The important thing is that everyone is healthy!
I can't wait because I have to say I haven't had the easiest time with this whole time and seriously have my doubts of making another baby in the future. But my wife, is Korean, and says we should later so our daughter won't be lonely. However, not for a while. . .



I will start taking grad school classes next month at the University here for TESOL. I will probably decide sometime this semester if I am going to go for my full masters or just get the certificate, but I am starting to lean for the full masters. It seems that all my friends are getting masters in Ph.Ds and my wife has a Ph.D so I should at least get a masters. haha! Actually, those reasons aren't really that important, it is for my future and career. I have to do better than right now, I can't go much lower. I am still a little amazed/disappointed at how much things changed in the last year. In Korea, I had a good job that was respected and very good pay with benefits, but long hours to now where we live with my parents, I have a low job. Sorry, the self-pity part of this post will stop here!

We are kind of starting a new venture though, but we don't know. Just seeing if we get much response and have to get the word out more. People have already been giving me advice about it, about what we should have done differently or what what things to use and say. Personally, that is great, but I just want to see if what we have now gets some attention and people use it (as long as we get the word out a bit more.) I know it could be a lot bigger and better, but just now let's wait and see. . . I don't need all the advice yet about how I should be doing it. If you have no idea what I am talking about that is okay, but I can tell you. I just don't want this blog to turn into something other than what it is, kind of a journal of me.

That's all!

Happy Father's Day to all the dads and soon to be dads! (Which is me too, kind of funny that I picked this day to blog.) Anyway, our little baby is doing well and on next Thursday will be the official seven month marker. She is definitely starting to show and I am pretty sure it is getting uncomfortable, but it is okay. Our baby is still very active moving a lot and we talk and read books to her a lot in English and in Korean. ^^

Other than that still working at the hospital and I will start taking graduate classes in the fall for TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) at the university here in town. I will be busy!

Just now, things aren't too complicated yet just preparing for the baby and going through everything in the house. We are switching rooms from the guest bedroom to my old room and the baby's room will be right next to it in my brother's old room. So, there has been a lot of moving, donating things, organizing stuff, etc.
We also have a small garden on the deck; a green pepper plant, a red pepper plant, and three tomato plants. Everything is going well and so far the vegetables have been very delicious!

At night we have been watching Korean dramas which are always intense, exciting, and emotional at the same time. I think they would catch on here and people would be addicted to them. We often argue with each other about them about Korean culture and the Korean mind vs. here. How they match, or how they don't match and how why do some things matter so much to them, and then she might say it is only a drama. Which I will reply, well it is in the drama, so in one form or the other that is based on the society as a whole. I won't go on too much into this, but we have fun!

That is all for now!

On Becoming a Father (Soon. . . )

I will becoming a father sometime in early to mid-September as many of you know. What does that mean??

Many things:
Fear - life is over as we know it. I am becoming an old man and will now start dying soon. Will I be a good father??
Excited - About becoming a dad to a new daughter.
Crazy
Worried
Stressed - Financially and everything else. . .

Hi Everyone ~

I just wanted to give an update after I got married. . . now I am a happy married man!

Anyway, I wanted to just pose some thoughts and if you have any opinions or anything you can comment. So, we got married and her parents came and her second sister came from Sydney. Except still no one knows other thann that in Korea or her oldest sister and two nephews in Sydney, which is still frustrating and a little hard to get my head around.

Which brings me to my point. . . I have felt like we are in exile here in America because we can't talk or really tell any of our friends at church in Seoul still. People that care about us and think about us often too, but because of Korean culture we can't say anything till who knows when. . ??
Anyway, I have emailed a friend a couple of times now without saying anything, but at the same time saying some things. I can trust this person and knows this person cares, but I am still afraid to be open or say too much. Like I have said, "everyone is okay here in America, or we have found a Korean church so that is good, etc. . ." The thing is everyone knows, but it was never official or brought out in the open, but I don't know. I want to say yes, I am with her we got married, etc. . but I don't know. What could happen??
Maybe I shouldn't, but I really wish I could tell someone or open up to someone still in Korea who knows everything, but not like I would like it to be.

Any thoughts?? Should I just keep my mouth shut or should I try to be more honest with this friend (knowing that he will keep my trust)??

Does anyone read this blog?? I'll give you a couple of days to respond. . . I'll check back soon!

The weather has started off wonderful this week. . . and should be good on Saturday too!! ^^ Today, we went to get our marraige license and some last minute stuff for the wedding, so that is exciting. My fiance's parents are coming Friday night from Seoul and her older sister from Sydney, so that is also exciting! Everything helps that puts you in a better mood, despite the economic crisis that we are ourselves kind of in the middle of. . . but let's not get into this on this perfectly bright post!

Congratulations to my friends who got married on Saturday in Mexico!!

Our Wedding

Hi, I just wanted to post again after a long while, the first one back in America.

Just wanted to give you an update on our upcoming wedding on March 21st. It has been fun planning probably since we picked the date way back about the first week of January. It is a rather small wedding and we invited quite a few people knowing that quite a few of those wouldn't be able to make it ~ which is all good! I have been pretty much the "bride" and my parents like the "bride's parents" because we have had to plan everything. I am really happy how things have turned out though and we have taken care of almost all the details including flowers and guest favors, etc. It should be fun and we are really happy that her parents are coming from Seoul and her sister from Sydney. I look forward to being able to show pictures from this day after the event of course. . . exciting!!

What is not exciting is having to do all the paperwork and send in all the money (expensive) for the visa part after we get married. It really is ridiculous all the hurdles you have to go through, I am all about protecting the country, but come on!

Hi, it is late here now about 12:55 on Friday night. I just got back from my girlfriend's parents' house tonight, which I have been going to everyday now for maybe the past two weeks. I am never at home, I feel like this could be some kind of test. Tonight, I was totally disgusted when the mom brought back live octopus, which they know I don't like. She cut them up and with their legs still moving put them on the table while her father and her ate them. I couldn't even really look at it, my girlfriend got very upset. But what can you do??

Other that with work and everything else going on, including that I am pretty sure I only have about six weeks left of doing. Then church, and studying Korean, everything. . . I am quit exhausted. And on top of that I can't really talk to anyone about the situation because we are still not really open at church about us. . . which is very frustrating STILL(which is ridiculous - I know) because of her parents.

There is so much going on. . . I can't even think straight anymore and my body feels like a 50 year old man instead of a 25 year old in his peak. Lately, as sad as it is I almost wish I could just get sick and have to stay in the hospital for a couple of days just so I could get some rest and a little more attention. I am tired of sometimes always working or trying to impress someone, and having to do something to prepare for whatever. My girlfriend feels the same way, but. . . . what can we do??

It is just hard sometimes to believe that God is going to let us be happy and it will be sooner than later. After working so hard, and trying to do what is best and right and getting God's blessing isn't that enough?? Please don't worry about me, even though I feel like crying every single day. . .

We will be happy soon. . . just sometimes it is hard and frustrating to not be able to get the happiness that we feel like we deserve. God will make that in His time!

Hi Everyone - - - I thought I would write a post for a change, kind of random one at that. I know some people have asked me what dramas are like in Korea. Well, last night one that I have been watching for a while finally finished. It was 104 chapters and it was on Saturday and Sunday nights from 10-11:15 maybe. . . so about a year. Anyway, the title translates to "The Wife I First Married Club" similar to first wife probably. Anyway, it was about this family and they are not a rich family, just common people. This drama was interesting because it mainly had to do with everyday people and not the rich that we always see in dramas. So, their is a father and a mother and they have two sons and one daughter. Somewhere along the line, the father gets another lover and basically treats the first wife like crap, and hits her and does many bad things in front of the kids. Basically, they don't get a divorced and the second woman lives with them while the first wife stays there because in Korea, a wife that runs away or something like that is still looked at as very bad.

So, fast track to the kids are grown up and the first son marries a woman and has a kid, but later he too takes a second woman and the first one leaves. Granted that the second woman he took also left her husband and daughter. That is one child of this family.

The daughter a good woman, marries a man and has two daughters. He is a playboy though and treats her really bad too and leaves her. She still lives with her father though and that house, her husband was a doctor and wanted to be a professor. He was handsome and basically tried to play himself to a good position, but then he got caught and couldn't get another job at a hospital at Seoul.

The third child, a son is a good man and marries a woman and basically there was not a lot there. He was the good child and was very hurt that his family had all of these problems, especially his older brother.

So, the first son, his first wife meets another man (younger than her) and from a rich family. . . which is kind of not stereotypical here in Korea. They fall in love, but he is engaged to another woman who his father wants him to marry and he is a big CEO of some company. The father finds out he loves this common woman who is older than him and has a son and is extremely upset and very against the relationship. He tells his son many times you can't meet her, and goes to her work where she works and threatens her many times, saying that she has to break up with his son. Then his son is so upset and doesn't listen to his father so his father hires men to take his son away and do whatever it takes to keep him away from his lover. Then on top of all this, the woman's first husband, the oldest son, finds out about this and becomes very jealous and wants her back. He starts treating his second wife like crap, hitting her and trying to throw her out of the house, etc. She starts to drink heavily, and at the end almost committs suicide because she has nothing and has lost everything. No one cares about her. This story was basically the main part, and finally at the end after many things that happen and being hurt too much the woman and her lover are together, after the father finally agreed about the relationship. The oldest son loses everything too and feels guilty and blames his father for everything because he set the example about the second wife and thought it was great. He ends up at the end after everything finding the second woman after they have been hurt a lot, and they all together.

The daughter of this family too was hurt too much because after her husband left she met another man. This man she met when he was about to jump off a bridge and committ suicide because his wife left him with their son to America. They fall in love, but somehow his first wife gets pregnent later but it might have or not have been his son. However, he doesn't love her and they plan to get married, but the first wife wants him back. And then she is pregnent and has the baby so he is responsible for that, so it is too hard. This couple was engaged and then broke up but they finally ended up getting married. The daughter's father wrote a letter to her that she found on her honeymoon saying how sorry he was for all the pain he caused her mother and her for taking the second wife because after that she stopped calling him father. The last episode she is happy and pregnent again.

Finally, after all of this the lesson was learned by everyone after all of the hurt and pain how stupid some of them were and how hurt everyone was. I don't know how to translate it this in English, but Koreans say "너무 힘들고 어려워요" so difficult and exhausting. Anyway, in the very last episode the whole main family is together and the father apologizes to his first wife, the mother on her birthday privately saying, "I am sorry for everything and thank you for staying and keeping the family together" after twenty or thirty years. They are crying and happy that their family is okay.

This drama was good because I think it revealed a lot of Korea's culture and the way people think about love. In Korea, love is hard because of family responsibilities, parents (who are often opposed to their kids relationships), and how men and women view love in Korea (especially traditonally) but the younger generations or changing. This drama was tiring to watch sometimes, but I am glad I finished it and could give you a little glimpse into Korean dramas.

I watched the last two episodes at my girlfriend's parents' house with her parents. . . which is a blessing that that is possible now after everything. Praise God!

Hi there. . . I thought I would write something down on this late night. . . my birthday will be over in four minutes by Korean time. Yes, I am 25 now, and still 26 in Korean age. I like 25 better for some reason. . . I think this was the age that a while back I decided that I was going to stop at as far as the whole ageing process goes, if that is okay!

Just so everyone knows my girlfriend, did get back to Korea safely last Saturday morning very early for the Chuseok holiday (Korea Thanksgiving) weekend. It was very very great to see her after being apart for six weeks. We will not talk about how much my cell phone bill was for last month. . . I am very happy to say that I had dinner at her parents' house on Monday night for the first time ever, so that was great! Her father seems to be accepting now of us I think. . .which after a lot of praying and doing many things it is a good feeling. We also bought couple rings that day, which is a Korean thing. So, just now I am very happy!

Except this week since about Wednesday I have been too tired and have had headaches and my body just feels out of wack. I have been sleeping enough, but I just don't feel good and exhausted all the time. Tomorrow I have to wake up early because I have to go to a workshop for all the campuses in Seoul and the surrounding area all day. It will be a great learning experience and fun or NOT!! Then hopefully tomorrow night we will meet and then church on Sunday and there goes another precious weekend! Next weekend we will try to go somewhere maybe on Saturday nice for my birthday. Tonight I got off work at 8 as usual and we went to a restaurant/cafe very nice. . . but didn't stay as long as I wanted. I am too tired so that makes me very sad right now especially since I could careless about the workshop tomorrow. I will be there in body, but my mind will check in and out I am sure.

There will be some more big and major news in my life in the months to come, but until we know officially what is going on, let's wait. . .

So, who wants me to try to this blog??

So, who wants me to try to keep this blog going??

Can you believe it?? It is March already, well actually February went a bit slower than January. . . but it was very busy!

Things are going well here, nothing really new to report just work, church, and being with my girlfriend of course!

I thought I had more to say right now, but I just feel tired instead. . . . sorry . . .

Just trying to keep this dying blog alive.

Hello Everyone! ~~ It has been a long time since I have last posted. . . well along time for me anyway. I remember my last year in university when I posted what like every other day about my practicum or something else that doesn't seem that important these days. Funny how life changes with new challenges and events so suddenly. . . like how is it February of 2008 already, really where did January go??

February will go even faster since it is a shorter month and it is like the busiest most stressful month at my job of the year! Next week we only work two days though since it is the Lunar New Year, so that will be nice. I am being observed twice on Monday from some people from the main campus of the academy I work at, a little stress. What if I am the worst teacher ever and they tell me to go back to America quick?? Then we have the semester ending and parent interviews with preschool kid mothers. . . oh how fun! And then getting ready and starting a whole new year of preschoolers.

Everything else is going well. . . I have been studying Korean every Saturday for three hours at an academy. I really like it and seem to be improving, but it is very hard! I am still busy with church and spending time with my girlfriend of course. Just hoping and praying how everything is going to work out for us always, but God will take care of that ~ just wonder a lot sometimes about some things.

That is all for now!

I am Back in Korea.

Yes, I have been back in Korea for a couple of weeks with this point and with my girlfriend coming to the States, coming back and everything I have not found the time to post. I have managed to send out one mass email so at least everyone knows I am okay.

I am doing great, just busy of course and happy to be back. First, my new apartment is 1000x better than my last place. It has three or two and a half rooms maybe and a more western style bathroom which is nice. I am on the third floor in a big apartment complex and have a little terrace where the washing apartment is and such. I have cable, but I haven't watched any TV since I got it last week.

My job is at a prestigious kind of famous academy in Korea. The pay is a lot more so that is a good thing. The hours are better but longer days so kind of tiring. I teach preschoolers in the morning and they are very smart. Like able to write sentences and read most of them and identify the different long and short vowels. I am teaching my one class all four verses of "Here Comes Santa Clause" which they will sing with actions from memory at the Christmas Party on Christmas Eve. They are very cute! Then in the afternoon I teach elementary school children who have a high level of English or who have studied in America or somewhere and then returned to Korea. So things are looking a lot better this time around.

Of course I see my girlfriend everyday and she is here a lot so that is great! Officially it has been 91 days now but we have been seeing each other since the end of June. I will be very sad when she leaves for Germany at the end of January I guess, but at least we will have Christmas together this year!

My girlfriend has gone back to Korea and got there early early this morning. I leave Monday morning and she will pick me up at the airport when I get there on Tuesday night. My family loves her and they don't care that she is older or that she is Korean, but maybe my parents wonder about us. Why does her family and everyone at church still not know about us?? Why do we have to keep it a secret?? Is it so wrong for us to be together?? When are we going to get married?? Are we just friends or do I really love her and want to be with her forever?? What?? Why can't I pressure her more to tell her family and for us to be out in the especially before she goes to Germany?? Is she the boss??



Yes, it is true I will feel better when her family and other people know about us, but I am okay. I have a strong mind and even if we have to keep this secret forever I can be okay, right because of love?? Love is enough and being together wherever that may be. Should I think more about my family and how they want us to live in America again someday especially if we have children??



These past two weeks when she was here was a very special time for both of us. . . but we still have our obstacles to get through too.

I'm Happy!

Of course, I am happy because my girlfriend came to the US from Korea to visit me! She leaves on Friday morning very early after a little bit longer than two weeks. Then, I will go back to Korea next Monday for my new job starting soon. So, far the time time has gone by very fast and we are trying to make the most out of every moment. I am trying not to be one of those people that once they get a girlfriend drop off the planet, but to some regard I feel like that is me a little bit. At the same time, I am not going to make any apologies about that though because I am happy and I am in love!

I will try to share more details later about everything. . . but just letting you know I am still alive and have not forgotten this blog!!

So, life is still not that exciting at the moment. . .but my girlfriend is probably going to come visit me from October 31st till November 16th. This is kind of a big deal and very exciting! We have had some issues with this long distance relationship since I have came back. Things have gotten better and I am hoping everything works out with the travel plans and such. She got a visa already and has reserved plane tickets on the internet. Anyway, so I am a little bit happier these days and then go back to Seoul on November 19th.

In a Slump. .

I don't know if I am experiencing reverse culture-shock blues or what, but since I have came back from Lawrence especially I haven't felt like doing much or seeing anyone. Not that there are many people here that I am still friends with, only about one person. I am sleeping a lot more, but I still feel pretty exhausted all the time. Food isn't the same, or doesn't taste the same, so I feel like I am not eating that much or I feel too full all the time. When I feel like going somewhere that I want to go, it last for only about two minutes. Then I realize I would go by myself or with my parents (which I don't always want), I don't have a lot of money right now and my parents aren't going to give me any. Sometimes, I think what about getting a part-time job, but who is going to hire me for five weeks before I go back to Korea??

I miss my girlfriend a lot, and talking on the phone twice a day and everything else is never enough or not like being there. I hope maybe she comes in November for a couple of days. The distance sometimes only makes me worry more about our relationship and unsure about everything. I know this is probably normal to some extent, I admire people who can pull off the long distance relationship thing.

So please if you have any suggestions for me about what to do to not feel lonely, sad, or whatever all the time!! Other than that, I just stay at home and watch TV, study Korean or German or for the GRE, read, or go outside sometimes for a walk or with the dog. I pretty much only go out with my parents for lunch or dinner or something.

So, I haven't sat down in a while to write anything for this blog. . . .well it has been about a month.



I am back in America now, well until about November 25th and then I will go back to Seoul for my next teaching position. I am excited about that, but I will miss my little brother's wedding next year. I would like to go, of course, but that might not be possible. It is for my future though and my life decisions.

My girlfriend and I. . . well this is the most complicated relationship ever! I don't know how much longer it is going to go, which is very sad, but we will hope!

Other than that, I am going up to Lawrence tomorrow to see some friends and hang out for a few days. Anyway, so my life is as crazy as ever, so stay tuned. I'll try to keep this updated when I can.

That's all for now ~