Due for a Post. . . Perhaps

Let me just say that life has been rather crazy lately, crazier than usual and that makes my life pretty stressful at times with many ups and downs. I will do my best to summarize a little bit. . .

First, the whole job situation. . . well a couple of weeks ago they dropped another bomb on me at work. They said that our academy is moving to a smaller building during the vacation and then I had the choice to stay the last two months or just "call it a day" and leave after vacation. You got to be kidding me ~ that left me with like no planning time or time to think. I almost had a nervous breakdown that week and also at the beginning of last week. I felt like I was being push out or something and wasn't even sure if I wanted to stay if the whole thing was going under.

The end of that week we had a company party/dinner the usual thing. I didn't drink a lot and got kind of criticised by my supervisor a little for not drinking more and I am too shy. He said many things to me or about me that kind of hurt and I didn't have a good feeling about him especially that night. Then he told me that there is another academy that teaches kindergarten and the supervisor there wants me. I was like okay, I could try for the interview and see what happens. My supervisor was like, no problem you could start there in August, make more money, and have a better schedule. I thought sure, that sounds good maybe.

That next Monday morning I went in for an interview there, and that was not a good interview at all. I waited at the place for maybe close to thirty minutes to come and talk to me. They were not very friendly or warm to me, I thought the whole time "I can't do this." Even though they were like the sooner you can start the better. I haven't heard anything else about that.

Anyway, so I am back to where I started and ended up deciding to stay the last two months and hopefully find another position somewhere by September or October. I am not for sure yet or not if I will be home at all between jobs or not, but we'll see. Right now, the idea of going back to the States makes me a little nervous.

I am still seeing this woman that I like and that has been taking up most of my free time. It hasn't all been fun though and light at times I feel very stressed out about the whole thing because of communication and if it is actually going anywhere or not. Last week. after I was very stressed out last Monday after the interview and got kind of depressed, Tuesday was a holiday. I ended up going with her to Incheon a city by the coast about an hour away to visit her university friend, met her husband, and two very cute sons. We hung out with them during the day and then drove to a beach and talked and walked around a bit. Then we came back to Seoul, but we hit a cultural difference that almost stopped the evening. . . a funny story now. Anyway, we went to dinner and then to the Han River and a beautiful park and walked around some more and had coffee. I learned many things about her mind for me that day ~ maybe.

I feel like God is blessing this relationship and I am very surprised by that, but need to keep seeking Him and His direction of this. It is still very soon, but I know she cares and worries about me a little. We just have to still improve communication differences at times and cultural issues.

I will tell you more about her. .. . she is nine or ten years older than me and has her Ph.D in nutrition (primarily Eastern/Korean cooking and such). She works at a university research institutue and runs a functional food restaurant or is a manager there at a hospital. She gives presentations sometimes for people like this Saturday for women about ostheperosis. She is also in very good shape and likes sports like basketball, etc. I see her usually every morning at church, but I go to pray. We talk throughout the day. Oh another big thing, maybe for the next three weeks she is appearing on a TV show on Friday mornings on MBC, which could be compared to NBC or ABC in the States. She is working with a team of her, a doctor, and a trainer on a project to help an obese mother and son lose weight in a month. She is doing the nutrion aspect of it. If the mother and son reach their goal they win a trip to Thailand. Anyway, so she is pretty impressive. What is she doing with me. . . .?? God is blessing me a lot maybe ~~~ if only I can feel more secure about this relationship and its possibility of going somewhere.

I go to Japan on Saturday morning till the following Friday, and I almost don't want to go. I feel like it is going to be more tiring than relaxing. Especially, since I have no plan for Tokyo and don't even know where I am going to sleep. I will probably be alone a lot too in this huge city where I don't speak the language, and it is super expensive. It will be an experience/adventure too. . . I hope to take a lot of pictures!

That is all for now. . . any comments or questions?

An Expensive Night

Yesterday, I met the woman I like at about 4:15. The place I planned for dinner didn't open for dinner until 6, so we went to Burger King and ate chicken tenders and talked there. Anyway, then we had an adventure trying to find the restaurant, that was entertaining. We got there and had a huge traditional Korean meal in this traditional Korean house. . . maybe about five courses. Needless, to say for the two of us that cost me 120.000 won or about 130-140 USD probably. Then, we had to make a detour and go to a place where she had to meet a man for her job giving a seminar for like ten minutes. Anyway, then we went to the Han River and walked and sat down in a bench and talked some more there and left almost at 11. Then she dropped me off at what we thought was a subway station but turned out to be just an underground walkway. That turned into a mini-ordeal, but is funny now maybe. I finally got to the subway station and went the wrong way of course and finally got to the place where I was to transfer at like 11:45, too late. I had to take a taxi home which cost about 13 USD maybe. It was a good night, I also gave her three yellow roses, a book of English Expressions, and a narrow black neck tie. I told her to wear it she would look good in it, make a fashion trend.

I also went to the Korean church early today at 9, to go to the high school student service and meet her students. I ended up going to the class and talking some and I guess I will be helping out with that from now on. They were very excited to see me and want me to come. After that, we talked and ate lunch in the church dinning room or temperorary one anyway.

I would say we are a couple. . . she likes me anyway.

Still Exciting. . .

I haven't been able to say 100% yet in my mind, or on facebook that I am officially in a relationship yet, it is still too early. (Because we all know facebook makes everything official when you put it on that. hahaha)

We usually see each other ever morning at church, then talk on the computer, then text messages while I am at work and then talk on the phone for anywhere from 20 minutes to about an hour before we go to bed. Saturday night we are going out again and I am trying to make a great plan that will be fun.

This morning she invited me to go to Namdaemun with her, a big old market where she needed to buy some things for her job. Anyway, another girl went with us from church too, which was fun though. We did that, ate, and had smoothies at Smoothie King and then I had to come home and she had to go to work. It was a lot of fun though and sharing an umbrella (oohh. . . ) haha~! It was a lot of fun though.

Footprints the company that I got this job here in Korea emailed me back today saying that it should be easy to find me another position in Seoul starting in October or November. They said I won't even have to leave unless I want to, but would need to go to Japan to get my visa renewed. What does everyone think?? Should I try to make it home for at least a couple of weeks in October or stay here and maybe hope for a long break over Christmas when I might be able to come home or something.

Any thoughts??

Another Nice Date Night!

Well, yesterday ended up being kind of crazy and another good night with the girl I like. I was supposed to plan it this week, but my plan wasn't exactly amazing maybe and didn't think it through enough. I did give her another one of my CDs that she likes, but I wanted to give her a flower but didn't do that. I met her at the subway station in her car and we went to a Korean Family Traditional Food Restaurant that was nice, but in a very busy area. Lots of traffic, so first problem right there: traffic on Saturday night.

The next part of my plan included coming back here to my hometown or neighborhood and showing her where I work and then walking around the Han River. She didn't seem to warm to this idea, she was like lets go to Namsan Tower. I was like sure, why didn't I suggest that Namsan Tower is a very beautiful place where you can go and see all of Seoul from up on like a mountain and there are places to sit and so fourth.

We went up to Namsan Tower and of course there were tons of couples. We walked up the mountain and then stayed there for a while and sat down and talked on a bench for probably maybe two hours we were there at least. It was fun and I am positive she has to be interested in me. Anyway, then I walked down and I was like lets get ice cream or coffee or something. Good idea ~ but because of parking we can't just go anywhere. We went up by Korea University and ended up at this like gourmet ice-cream place. It was like 9:00 at that point and she kept saying how late it was and we would only stay maybe 15 minutes. We were there for almost two hours and at the end were looking at some like women's fashion magazine talking about what we find pretty, style, etc. The ice cream was good, the first time I ever had sweet potato ice cream, sweet potato is very popular here. She wanted to get wine too, but I was like wine and sweet potato don't mix, she said I had a prejudice. . . haha!

The more and more I hang out with her and get to know her, I am completely surprised why she is interested in me or how she likes me. She is older, has a Ph.D, good at sports, knows teakwando like a black belt, has wrote her first book this year for people who do taekwando about how to lose weight and have a good body like through nutrition. I imagine her type to be like some athletic guy with a lot of muscles or something. . . so what is she doing being interested in me.

Okay, I have to admit the language is a barrier sometimes, but not bad enough to call it quits. We can communicate and I think we are learning how to be better communicators through this. There is also like a spark, like a chemistry between us that we just know. . . it is amazing, and can't help but think I am in over my head!

We still aren't an official couple, but I am pretty confident and saying that we are dating! The culture difference is a little bit hard and confusing too to figure out, but I think this is going somewhere. Unless she wakes up one day, and realizes I am a lot younger than her, not as smart or athletic as her. At the same time, I have to stay positive and confident about this too.

I wonder if it is a good thing if I feel so happy and excited about this, but at the same time feel like at any moment I could wake up and realize this was one big dream??

At this point, I am not going to change my relationship status on facebook because I don't want to ruin it. . . but if there was a choice of "dating someone" that would be me right now.

What do you guys think??

What is This??

I find myself thinking lately what is happening with me. This woman I like is causing me to feel pretty crazy! I have not slept a lot a couple of nights because of some cliff hanger conversations through text message. Going from feeling like there is no hope and that she doesn't like me to pretty sure she is interested, but mad at myself for getting so worked up over it because what if nothing happens. We text a lot through the day and usually in the mornings before I go to work we talk on MSN for about an hour. I find myself getting nervous and worried that something happened or maybe she doesn't like me if I don't hear anything after a while.

She has matched me as far as being a competitor in this wild psychological ride I have been on. It's like she almost wants me to tell her "I think you are beautiful, smart, your English is good ~ why worry about it."Which I have gone way out on my limb on this one and it is so exciting but at the same time very scary because she is so good at playing the game too, or at least I call it a sort of game. Like this Saturday evening I am hoping we go on another date and she said yes, but now she is like maybe, I don't know yet. But since I told her I would plan it she keeps asking about my plan, or "what is your good plan?" Tomorrow I made a card, or invitation sort of thing. . . so I am hoping that takes out the maybe and she tells me for sure yes, I am going.

I can't believe I have let myself get so worked up over this. . . but I kind of hope she is a little bit worked up about me too. It is so exhilarating, nerving, exciting, a happy feeling that is getting harder and harder to control. . . .

I am going insane!

A Very Nice Date Story!

No, this is not "A Dating Story" on TLC. . . but I did have a very good date Saturday evening, maybe the best or one of the best I have ever been on, not that I date a lot. So, there isn't a lot to compare it to. . .

Anyway, Saturday evening I met the woman I like at a subway station well actually outside, she picked me up in her car. Anyway, we went up by the university she went to and works at and we went to dinner at a Korean restaurant. We ate a very spicy pork dish, which was very good and talked and so on. It was a good time.

Then we went to the University which was very pretty and it was a very beautiful night with a nice cool breeze. We went to this one place, building called Peace Place which is an opera house, and it was beautiful. We walked around and took some pictures of me and then a couple or tried to take a couple "self-ca" pictures with her handphone but there was a lot of laughing and joking doing this.

We drove around some more and she showed me some sights on campus. I learned she already has her Ph.D. which was quit a shock. Immediately my mind brought up my stereotypical views and ideas about people with their Ph.D's. (Mind you there is nothing wrong with them ~ and I applaud those very smart people.) But I do have to admit I can't help but have the view of professors who have no fashion sense or personality outside of their area of interest, and are in general kind of cold people. I know not all of them are like this ~ for example the social welfare professors some were very cool people. But I have met some that meet these stereotypical views. So, don't hold it against me. But anyway, this woman is very beautiful (my opinion), smart, fashionable and in shape. Her first major was physical education and her other degree is in nutrition.

After going to Peace Place guess what she happened to have in her trunk and what we ended up doing for a while. We played basketball or shot the ball around, and she was much better than me maybe. At one point I ran all the way down the hill to get the ball that bounced off the court. It was a lot of fun though and hot, I had to take off my shirt and only wear my T-shirt I got so sweaty. We had fun doing that though. . . .

Then we got into her car and she didn't know where the parking ticket or the permit to be on campus was in her car. We maybe looked for a good ten minutes and got out of the car and everything, I finally found it on the floor. That was a bit amusing. Then she dropped me off from the subway station from there and it took me about an hour to get home. It was a pretty good date in three hours I would say.

Today after church. . . not at church we didn't get a chance to really talk or say anything to each other. I met her and another friend at McDonalds near the church in a shopping center by the subway station. Of course we didn't eat anything, I gave her one of my CDs that I think she would like. . . she did of course!^-^ I met another woman from church too, who she is friends with and then my friend came that is my age because we went to dinner. My friend was like, "her, she is an old woman!"

For me, though age has never crossed my mind. I think she is very beautiful and looks quit young and if we like each other, who cares?? I mean it isn't like she is so old that it is like disgusting that I would consider her. Does anyone else have some strong opinions or reasons though why I shouldn't be happy with how this is going and not date her?? Anyone, please speak up and I will consider your opinion rather or not has anything to do with my own decisions. . . probably not.

Good weekend! (I also saw Oceans 13 - I liked it and found it amusing!)

Thanks for a couple of people letting me know that they are still reading this blog.. . . it makes me a little bit more encouraged to keep writing. Also, the few of you that are fortunate to read this blog, know how I sometimes portray a more personal and different side of things then I do in my emails to the masses. So, I will keep on because I like to write.



Remember the woman I told you about in the last blog?? It is still going and going well I think. I actually might be getting a little bit crazy over the whole thing, but she definitely seems to be interested in me too. We talk in the morning usually if she is on MSN messenger at work in the morning and I am at home for a while. If not, we usually send text messages throughout the day in conversation or what have you. (I have even forgotten to shave the last two days because I have been so wrapped up in talking to her. . . ^^) Tonight, she told me she felt a little down because of all her stress from work and stuff so I sent her a picture of me through the phone. I think it was good because she liked it. I will see her in the morning at the pray service at 6:30, but unfortunately she has to work tomorrow, give a lecture.

I am pretty busy and tired myself. I worked out everyday this week. . . ^^ I hope I am getting stronger and a better body. Work was work, but I have some crazy students sometimes, but it's fun! This week has been very hot and humid at times though and with no air con in my apartment sometimes it isn't too fun with only a fan. In general, I am feeling pretty happy, excited, and nervous about life right now and what is happening! ^--^

Does anyone still read this blog?? Or are my posts just going up there somewhere in the Internet black hole with the rest of the useless stuff up. Let me know. . . because there is some exciting stuff possibly happening in my life and I want some of you to know about it!!!

My contract at my little academy or my so called job is only 12 months instead of 15 supposedly. So, that will end around the beginning of October I guess, and at that point I will probably be heading back to the States for 2-3 weeks before I head back hopefully with a better academy with a better schedule, and some more money. Right now, yes, I am thinking I am going to stay in Korea for another year!
I know that is kind of a big step and decision to make, but it is only one more year.

I have become very interested and someone that goes to the church I go to, and I think she is quit possibly interested in me too. I will keep you posted, but just know for now she is very beautiful, a nutrionist, very smart speaks English, German, and Korean, and loves God! We'll see, I will definitely let everyone know if somehow I end up with a girlfriend, or in Korea we would say "if I make a girlfriend." hahah!

Let me know ~ if anyone is out there reading this please. . . else I might stop this blog forever!

Dropping Bombs!

My boss informed me tonight in the middle of a class that I will be leaving soon because my year is almost up in October! But wait a second didn't I sign a fifteenth month contract, so that gives me till December right?? I didn't really get to talk to him about it, but I said is my contract 15 or 12 month, he said 12. That means it will end at the beginning of October ~ ~~what?!!?

I only have three and a half months left on this contract instead of six and a half! I was using that extra three months as a cushion to figure out what is next. I was even sure that after December I would be ready to leave Korea to something else. However, now that I realize that it is so close that I could possibly leaving Korea forever it is quit upsetting and stressful. I don't know if I can leave here yet, after only one year I need more time! I don't know, but I need to decide within the next two months probably what to do or sooner so I can get things in order for what is next for me. I don't know if I can leave Korea though. . . God has really blessed me here and I am just starting to feel comfortable and things are starting to go well and look up and up. . . .

AAHHHH!!!! What will I decide to do???

Stay tuned. . . this will probably get interesting!

Yeah for Holidays that Fall on Wednesdays!

Memorial Day in Korea is June 6th, which happens to be Wednesday. It is good and bad that it falls on Wednesday too bad it isn't a Friday or Monday or else it could be a three day weekend and I could go visit Japan or something. Anyway, but the nice thing it breaks up the week nice and neat. Also, I don't have any plans so I can sleep in as long as I want tomorrow for the first time in a long time without any obligations or other plans.

I am pretty tired though because I got less than six hours of sleep last night before I got up and went to church by 6:30 to pray. It was a good morning though and I felt very refreshed after that and one guy bought kimbap for breakfast. . . yummy! Anyway, another side note. . . it isn't the main reason I go to church that early at all, but the woman that I like goes every morning. She is an elementary school teacher and a couple of years older than me and is a very nice, joyful person. She must know that I am interested in her, but I don't know if she knows how to answer me. Her English is getting a lot better though since I first met with her and another friend maybe a month ago. She must be studying or trying more or something because we can talk to each other now. I asked her to have a cup of coffee with me on Monday, but she is going with a church friend tomorrow to play in another city in the East of Korea. Her church friend is another woman, but when she told me her name on the bus today, which is 희미, and it sounded like "he me". I was like "he?" and know it is a girl, she kind of smiled when I asked that. I am praying about this and who knows maybe she is praying about me too.

That is a big secret - so ssh- - only one of my friends knows that here. I have a lot of secrets here because it seems to be a big deal, people talk too much here!

Other than that, I am doing much better this week in everything. I have worked out everyday so far and seem to be getting back into it, at least I hope so. I am spending more time with God and in His word and really have a desire for it. Work is going better and seems more fun, especially today even after I should've been more stressed when they told me more students left.

That is all for now. . .

Time to Put it in Gear Again.

This is a picture of me a couple of weeks before the family came over here at the site of the Great King Sejong's tomb. King Sejong is a king that was very smart and invented many practical scientific and agriculture inventions. However, he is the most famous for essentially creating Hangul, the Korean written alphabet and language. This is about an hour outside of Seoul near the city of Yeoju, where I went with my friend to check out the Korea Pottery Biennial that is there.

Anyway, like this title is posted I need to get back in gear with my life again after my parents have left. A couple of ways, I am going to try to take a break from drinking or at least watch it more and try to go at it less for a while. I think this has effected my body in more ways than one. This week I went twice to work out since my parents left and I think I have lost muscle mass and I am weaker now. Today I couldn't lift the same weight amount I was before my family came. My goal for that is to work out four or five days a week and get back in gear with that and probably this month get some more personal training. I probably need it!

Tomorrow morning, I am going to return to the English service church after a couple of months before I go to the Korean church with some friends. My family made me aware of this and I think it is a good idea to attend a service that I can understand everything so I can get the most out of it. I need to do that for myself spiritually because lately I haven't been as good in that department as I should be. I think this is another thing that will help me in general right now with my life because I could be doing better in several areas.

I cannot believe it is June already, it really snuck up on me! I could take March, April, May, but June. . . crazy and that means I have been here eight months. I have seven months officially on my contract, so I am over halfway done now. It is definitely starting to feel like summer too and is very humid here sometimes, my one fan sometimes doesn't seem like it will be enough this summer.

I am also still doing my best to learn Korean and want to be more focused still and continue to advance. I know, right now that I am not thinking I will stay in Korea after this contract is over, so why learn Korean? I still think it is important and something to do to further my intelligence. Plus, I feel like if I ever wanted to date someone that I like from the church or whatever I need to learn more and more Korean. That is another thing to think about though what if I start dating someone and it gets serious, or worse I fall in love? Would I stay in Korea, be stuck here and never make it to Central or South America??

I am keeping busy, plus who can forget work that still takes up so much of my time. I am making good money and still saving enough. . . it is hard sometimes.

By the way, I think June probably snuck up on me so fast this year because well first, life is busy. Also, this is the first time that I am not on a semester schedule and really don't have like a big summer break, so time just all goes together. That kind of makes sense but I hope I get a break sometime soon maybe before the holiday in September because I would love to maybe check out Japan or China!

Till next time. . .

My parents and my brother left yesterday and it was a mixture of sadness and happiness for me. I am a little sad because I feel like I didn't really spend as much as time with them as I could in ten days. I didn't get any days off because there is not enough teachers except for the holiday on Thursday and the weekend. One of my best friends here probably saw them just as much as anyone, and my mom loved his sister who is my brother's age who speaks perfect English. She is only home from studying at the U of Michigan before she goes back for her senior year. I think she is more American than me at this point, and my mom wanted me to make sure that I tell them that she can visit my parents anytime she wants in the States.


My brother was a pain in the neck a lot because he missed his fiance so much, not to really want to do anything. The last three days he practically didn't do anything, but stay at the hotel and talk to her via webcam and all of that when she was awake. He said, Seoul, one of the biggest cities on the planet was boring and there was nothing to do.

They didn't like Korean food really at all, which was more disappointing. I ate more American, Italian, or whatever food in ten days than the entire time I've been here ~ well not really. It was stressful trying to keep them busy and happy, but what do I expect from my mom and dad. I hope they enjoyed the trip here and aren't just saying that. My dad with all of my friends and my family couldn't stop talking about business and how much money we have, etc. Now all my friends think my family is super rich ~ which I could careless about, but they met my dad.

Everyone in my family thinks I drink too much, and half joked about it and at the same time seem upset about this. I don't drink too much, it is just Korea's culture. I went out two nights while they were here with my friend and the first night it wasn't bad. The second night my friend and I ended up having a good time and drunk three bottles of soju. The next morning I was a little sick, so I met them at the hotel very late at about 1:30 and couldn't eat anything. They were a little mad. Monday night when we went to dinner with people from work, drinking is a big thing, a social activity. I had a little beer, but I couldn't drink the soju because my family especially my dad gave me these really mean looks. It was very embarrassing because it isn't really a problem, I don't feel like, but my family is another story.

They left yesterday morning, and I went to work out for the first time in two weeks after that. The trainer came up to me and asked me why I haven't been there in a long time. I told him that my family came, etc. Then he asked me, "you still drink a lot sometimes?" I said yes, sometimes I drink and he told me, "yes", maybe becasue I look like I lost some muscle mass in my arms. He said, "you have a lot of stress, why?" I guess he cares, but sometimes I don't know if he cares or what the intention is, but I would like to think we are friends. It isn't a big deal though - but I will try to not do it as much and get back in the gear of sleeping better and working out. I just think it is funny how he acts concerned about me and he used to joke with me about how many bottles of soju I can drink and how much he drinks sometimes. Maybe he doesn't really want to drink a lot sometimes, but feels obligated to because he is with other people, but now I don't mind drinking soju sometimes and almost find it fun.

Life is a work in progress - - ->the next goal is maybe to start watching my drinking again and be responsible and drink less. It isn't my problem though, it is the result of being in Korea too long.

I Have a Computer Again!

My parents are here in Seoul now visiting me and they brought me my new Sony Notebook computer, so I can blog again. There are many stories that I could share right now but because of time maybe I won't. I have managed to create some drama in my life as always, but I am keeping it to a minimum. I managed to break up a boyfriend and girlfriend, but it's okay. The bright side is I did the girl a favor, and I think I made the right decision to not pursue her even though she wanted me because she isn't the best for me.

I am continuning to study Korean as hard as I can even though I know I might not end up staying after this year.

My parents got here on Sunday night, but ever since I have been stressed out a lot about trying to keep them happy and busy. So far, they are acting too American or I am acting too Korean maybe their opinion. I have a holiday on Thursday so at least I have another day with them besides the weekend before they leave next Wednesday. I am trying to enjoy their visit, but I need the space. I am not spending the night with them and my brother at the hotel tonight and won't see them until lunch tomorrow. My friends are helping out as best they can, but it is hard to make my parents happy. Maybe Korea is too different for them. . . and my brother misses his fiancie too much, it is sickening! I am glad they are here and I am going to make the most out of it and enjoy the visit!

That is all for now, I will try to blog more often again though now. ^^

I just want to remind everyone that this blog is not dead! I do not have a computer working at my home anymore so I have to use the one here at work. I haven't had a working labtop for a while now maybe when my parents come I'll be forced to be a new one then or something. I apologize for not keeping everyone informed and all that jazz. I am very busy these days with work, friends, excersizing, my life, etc. and I am doing well.

I would like to share with you many things, but maybe in about a month I'll be more connected again. Sorry!

My life is simple right?

Actually, maybe not so much. Well, I am meeting Jihye on Saturday for dinner at a Italian/French restaurant. I don't know about that, but I made those plans with her and I am going for sure. Technically, it isn't a date but I don't know what we are. . . we talked on the phone yesterday for about fifteen minutes.

I am still talking on the phone a lot to the girl I met on the subway back in December. We are good friends, but she still doesn't want to meet yet. She says she needs time for herself right now and we will meet soon when she has things in order. I feel like we are almost in a relationship over the phone, it is crazy! I care about her and our friendship, so I hope we do meet soon. She is older than me, but that isn't important. I find myself wondering what it will be like when we do meet.
I feel like we already are in some sort of relationship.

So crazy. . . why? but not really.

It is very cold here this week. It snowed pretty much all day today, but nothing really sticks here so it is pretty, except I was at work and the kids drove me crazy all day! I hope it warms up soon because they say Spring in Korea starts in March. I guess I am ready for that beautiful season.

I am still working out everyday at the gym and when I can with the trainer. Today was a very intense work out with him today that is going to leave my legs sore tomorrow I think when I go in. We went to lunch today and he is always telling me to eat more of course, it is good and he cares, but sometimes I don't like to hear that kind of stuff. I need to though!

안녕하세요.

This morning I worked out with the trainer and that was kind of intense little work out learning new weight exercises and doing sit ups and all of those things. He really pushed me, but I have to say I am becoming pretty spoiled with those whole exercise thing having the trainer to help me and give me a plan to follow. Will I ever be able to exercise again without a personal trainer? Anyway, tomorrow night we are going to lift weights and then have dinner and drink some, so that should be fun!

Jihye called me tonight and wanted to meet tomorrow, but I am busy most of the day and don't really have time. We agreed to meet next Saturday and she sounded very enthusiastic and wanted to talk for a bit.

If I am going to date anyone I would like to go on a date with one of the girls maybe that goes to the same church. Any suggestions about how I should go about doing that without feeling like a total fool?

Feeling Good.

I am feeling good for a couple of reasons. First, I have been working out every morning and actually doing what I am supposed to do with the weights and stuff, it helps that the trainer is there though and comes around and checks to make sure I am doing it. Even when it isn't officially a training time he still shows me stuff and helps me a lot when I can, maybe he feels guilty for how much I have to pay for him! I am a little sore, but I see this as a means to keep going because I must be doing good then. I meet with the trainer again on Friday morning and then I am meeting him Saturday night. I guess we are going to go to another fitness club and he is going to show me some more exercises for free weights. Then I guess we are going to have some drink and talk.

Another benefit of working out everyday is that I feel better at work everyday and more motivated to teach. Exercise must be like my "Happy Drug". Anyway, so that is good and I am usually pretty tired already by 10. So that means I am going to bed earlier like I come home and turn on the drama, wash dishes, brush my teeth, and get ready for bed. I woke up and went to church Monday morning before I worked out at 5:15 but I don't think I can do it everyday, it isn't healthy for me. I think God is telling me it is okay if I don't make it because I need to stay healthy just spend some time with Him in the morning here. I am also going through The Purpose Driven Life these days, so that is good.

Tomorrow is a day off because March 1 in Korea is like Constitution Day or something. I am going to get my haircut sometime tomorrow.

Keeping busy. . .

I am beginning to realize that life doesn't really get easier after university and you get a job and start making money. For me, I have realized since starting this whole thing and coming to Korea I have to constantly evaluate myself and where I am at and my priorities. I have to see what changes I can make for the better and what things I cannot change and just have to deal with those things and make the most out of it. I am so busy these days that life just seems to go. . . and I have to really try to enjoy every moment and be able to see how much I have achieved and where I have come from to this point. Especially by being in Korea I can see so many changes I have made in my life some by choice and others not by choice, they just sort of happened. I don't think I can really explain the depth of how much I feel like I have changed in the last almost five months since being here in Korea. My life is here in Korea though for the moment and it still sounds strange to say, but it feels almost normal. I am starting to realize that life is always going to be challenging and that I have to constantly evaluate the situation and make the best choices I can make and with God's direction of course for my life.

Yesterday, I went to the foreigners' cematary here in Seoul where a lot of missionaries, doctors, nurses, etc are barried. It is hard to explain why I felt the need to go there or how that made me feel and what I got from that. I think a lot, and it was important to me to see that and stand on that hallow ground. I really am not sure if I can explain that but it was a beautiful thing and feeling being there in this very beautiful small park area.

I also went to Seoul National University subway station yesterday because I wanted to hike up a mountain there. I couldn't find the mountain though or at least the trail where you hike up it, I could see the mountains of course. I walked maybe for forty minutes and finally just gave up and walked around the Seoul National University campus. One of the top universities in Korea there were a lot of young people there maybe getting ready for the semester to start and also there was some kind of graduation. It was beautiful in my opinion, and I took some nice pictures, but my Korean friends said that other universities are much more beautiful especially in Spring when the cherry blossoms come. Anyway, for the briefest time while walking there I had the same feelings I did when I went to KU for the first time when I was so excited and free ready to experience life! It also made me remember very happy times and good things like walking on campus with friends and talking enjoying the scenery. Many things I recalled, not like it was too long ago. . . but shortly after I felt very sad. It was incredible how sad I felt, I was very surprised but I realized that that part of my life is over in a sense and I will never feel so free and light like that again maybe. It made me feel old, I know that must be common, but for some reason that was so surprising yesterday how strong that felt.

Last night was a good night too, I hung out with my friend's high school friend that I met last weekend. I guess we are now friends though and we plus the girl he is dating went to dinner. She was very pretty. We ate, and then went to Namsan Tower where you can see all of Seoul from above very impressive, and then we went back to a place and ate some like dried fish and soup and drank sakke. It was a very good time I think.

This morning I met with my trainer at 8AM after getting not much sleep, but it was okay. I am going to try to exercize almost every day with the training schedule I have. Then I came back here and ate at McDonalds for breakfast and met two girls there, one was drunk. But she wouldn't stop talking to me and I sat with them while I ate because I am nice like that, it was entertaining needless to say. I probably won't see them again though, they work at a bar here in the area where I live, but I am not crazy about the party area here in my neighborhood.

Then I went to the Korean church and had a very good worship service and felt God's presence there. Then I had my small group Bible Study, which I really like and need in my life, I am greatful for that. I feel like that is one of the few places where I am very honest about my life and feelings and they can help and pray for me there. It also challenges me and at the same time I hope that they feel the same way that they can be honest and share, which I think we all do. I am very glad about that!

Tomorrow I will wake up at 5:15 and try to go to church every morning this week for the 6:30 service and then work out right after that. I am hoping to maybe be back here by 11:00 tomorrow morning and do some work related stuff on the internet before I go and of course eat.

There is more as always, but I think that is the important stuff that I think is worth sharing.

I have not blogged for the past week for a couple of reasons; I've been busy as usual, I haven't feel like it because I have been a little down, and I have been kind of tired as always.

Let's see where to start. . . the holiday weekend came and I did nothing special once so over for the three day weekend. I was supposed to meet Jihye on Monday after I worked out for the first time with a trainer at the fitness club. But she cancelled through text message at 5 AM that day. I don't think I was too sensitive about the whole situation and the next day we were both maybe a little frustrated at each other and fought a little bit through text message, I know kind of strange. Then I emailed her to apologize because she wouldn't text me or pick up my calls. She pretty much said she was sorry she had to cancel but with our different schedules, etc it is hard to make time for us and she values the time blah blah. It owuld be easier if we were back in Lawrence and we were students and all we had was time. Oh Lord - I know things are different but that made me feel old. Anyway, she told me to meet her Wednesday for lunch if I wanted around where she worked.

I met her Wednesday and we went to lunch and I gave her the small gift I was going to give her on Valentine's Day a notebook with a note in it, and one of my favorite CDs. So, we went to the restaurant and pretty much I was honest and explained myself kind of at the beginning about the frustration and communication problems, etc. I told her that I know time isn't really on our side but you know I was willing to try dating or whatever because I thought maybe she wanted too. Then she talked and told me that on Valentine's Day she received an expensive basket from the guy she was dating in Lawrence (I thought she ended that). In additiion, she was like he is crazy about me and I don't know why but for now we are going to try. That was a little awkward. She still took my gift though.

The more I think about it, however, nothing has changed about her even after this conversation we attempted to chat and she still made me feel maybe not smart or kind of dumb around her. She is so wrapped up in going to American and misses life there, TV shows, etc. and I on the other hand don't really miss that sort of stuff. I love listening to Korean music and watching Korean dramas and so on. She said things like "how can you understand the dramas, you don't know Korean, your main motivation here is not really to learn Korean." Okay, but I am still trying pretty hard to learn as much as I can when I have the time and energy. She talked a lot about applying for jobs this semester and then wanting to get into grad school in the US that sort of thing. She was like "why did you give up social work? why do you think you couldn't get a job in the US? What is your career goal or dream?" I don't know how she meant these questions to come across but to me they sound almost like criticisms and make me feel inferior in some way.

I realized why am I wasting my time trying to make this relationship come out of nothing. She hasn't changed and I don't need to feel like that around someone I am dating. I deserve better than that someone who is going to love me and support me, someone who is not trying to get me to second guess my life, my decisons, or my life. Even though we agreed to call each other and still hang out a lot. . . I am almost to the point where I don't want to be super close to me. And if she does like me, I don't want to be in that weird situation.

So, I am still working out at the fitness club. I meet with the trainer for the third time tomorrow at 10 AM before I have to start paying extra if I want to keep training with him. His English isn't great, but not bad and he seems to be nice and teaching me how to lift weights and use the machines, etc. For me I think it is more the motivation that working out with a trainer gives especially on weight lifting. I hate weight lifting, but that is what I need to concentrate on. . . I need all the help I can get. I enjoy the gym though.

Monday night I spent the night at my friend Yehun's, high school friend June oo's apartment. He lives by himself which was surprising in a very nice place I thought. The next morning we all went to the fitness club together in his like brand new white BMW, I felt like I was living the good life riding around in the backseat of that car.

I also started this week doing a private lesson for about an hour, twice a week with a Korean woman who teaches at the academy on Saturdays doing writing but in Korean. That is some more money to be made and is going good so far.

That is about it I guess for now.

A Hard Work-Out

This afternoon about 2:00 I went with my friend to the fitness club maybe we were there for at least two hours. We did some leg weights and ab exercizes than I did the stairmaster for the first time and ran on the treadmill. At the end the trainer tried to show me how to do a squat position like my friend tried to show me, but my body can't do. Pretty much there isn't enough muscle in my back to do it, I think is what he told me. And another thing Koreans for some reason call your butt, your hip so they say your hip needs to go back it is really your butt. No since in arguing about this because they for some reason think your butt is part of your hip. Needless to say the trainer guy called me weak and thinks I need to build up my legs first before anything else and should gain at least fifteen pounds. If I cannot gain weight in the US like people have been doing it for years, do you think it is going to happen here. . . haha not going to happen. I had a good work out and felt nice afterwards, but not too happy with the trainer saying that I am weak and all of that and telling my friend. A little humiliating, but that is okay and just took it. I am meeting with my trainer on Monday at 12:00 because I guess I paid for it as part of my membership. I don't want to have a football player's body or look like a weight lifter just be healthy and maybe look better and a little stronger. We'll see. . . I think it is still a good thing that I joined the gym though.

I called Jihye tonight to talk about what we will do Monday and where we will meet. I think many things will probably still be closed because of the New Year holiday tomorrow. Maybe half of Seoul's 12 million people have left the city for the country and their family, so the city is a lot quieter. It is kind of nice actually. Anyway, we ended up talking on the phone for about twenty minutes about each others' days and other stuff, so that is good that she wanted to talk for a while. I hope we have a good time on Monday and I'll know if we are actually dating or not. It could be nice!

Life is busy, but it is good. Sometimes I wish I could do more serving and stuff like I am used to besides teaching kids English all day, which is a service and giving my tithe every month to the church. Right now that is really all I have time for and can really do besides pray for the Korean people and North Korean people. Many Koreans are praying hard this year for Revival 2007 to mark the 100th year annniversry of a great revival that took place through Korea of the Holy Spirit. North Korea also needs our prayers because it is estimated that many of the 20 million people there are malnurished and may be starving. It is almost like Idol worship there with the statue and propoganda there. We know there are Christians there, but if they are found heavily persecuted and killed. Okay, sorry went off on a tangent there. . .

Keep in touch!