Maybe I am trying to be too busy. . . but then again how can I be? I am in Asia, I am in Seoul South Korea this is a once in the lifetime thing.

Last night I got about six hours of sleep because I had to wake up this morning at like 7:15 to meet my friend Jen for a movie at 9:20. But the movie theater that we went to is like forty-five minutes away from my house via subway. And yesterday my boiler decided to break so I had no heat or hot water. And by Friday I hadn't washed my hair since Wednesday. The landlady came down last night but she couldn't fix it (I guess someone came this morning and did the job.) But I was like I can't go to the movies like this (this is like a date). So last night I used my tea kettle to boil water, two different times and took that into the shower with a bowl and tried to do that to make it easier instead of washing entirely with ice cold water. Needless to say though I was still freezing last night after that and it was like 30 F outside too.

Woke up this morning and went to the movie we saw Some Good Year (?) with Russel Crowe. It was good, romantic, sexy (but it reminded me a lot of Under the Tuscan Sun with Diana Lane.) Is that her name? Then my friend during the movie was looking at her watch a lot which was kind of depressing and then the movie ended annd was like "okay lets go." She gets up and almost leaves me in the dust without saying a word and then we finally get out away from people and she is like "Ty, I'm sick. I think I have to go home." I must've looked kind of confused, but she left and I guess she is okay now. Well, that wasn't the way I wanted that to go.

Then I came back here and walked a while to by where I went grocery shopping last week with my friend. I walked around this big lake with all the pretty fall leaves around it by the Lotte World Fun Island Amusement park. I walked all the way around the lake, it was lovely and then walked back to the subway station here. I went to the mall two stops away and bought two books. I just finished reading Pride and Prejudice for the second or third time. It is one of my favorite books, it kept me entertained this week.

Tonight I am going out with the girl from Canada, her boyfriend, another friend and her boyfriend and the US Army and another girl to dinner at an all you can eat all you can drink place for $22. They say it is good, I have my suspicions about it or if I'll even eat my money's worth. Here goes trying to hang out with more foreigners.

Tomorrow I am going to visit my friend in another city two hours away called Taejon. It has a lot of government buildings there and was the site of Expo '93.

I'll probably send out an email out later this week for Thanksgiving and stuff and some more pictures.

My legs hurt, maybe walked too much today.

Taipei I Come in December that is. . .

Yes, I am excited my first real vacation will be in late December early January when I go to Taipei Taiwan to visit my friend for three days/four nights! I am looking to going to this supposedly beautiful city that is in a subtropical climate that will probably be in the 60s and 70s F when I am there. Right now in Seoul it is about 30 F. . . so it will be nice.

I am so excited! But I haven't even seen all of Seoul yet, but maybe it is because it will be vacation and I am paying for the airplane ticket with my hard earned money. I will have everything done by Sunday or as soon as I transfer the money from my account to pay for the trip. I will be flying Air Thailand. . . and you didn't hear it from me, but apparently the flight attendants uniforms are something to see!

Korean TV

Yes, I spend many nights after work vegging out with the TV on usually watching some Korean Drama. There are actaully two now probably two that I am into one is called Couple in Trouble that is on Saturday and Sunday nights. It is actually kind of funny and from what I know from the plot it is interesting. A rich young married woman is out on the yaht with her rich husband and falls off and hits her head. A poor local handy man or something picks her up and she has amnesia. He convinces her that they are married or something and she starts to take care of his three children. During this time though her memory is starting to come back and her rich husband is looking for her. He finds her but is speechless because she doesn't recognize him and he is spellbound. But she is also falling for the poorer guy, but it is typical of most Korean couples in this drama. Just when you think they are going to be close or happy they end up arguing and the whole things starts up again. It is entertaining!

But this is an exception I think because most of the dramas are love stories of course but they are very depressing. One is called Snow Queen that started on Monday night on one of the channels. Anyway, there is a guy who was a genius and he was in the university and had a best friend. They were very close and they were both competing for this prize maybe some test and the one guy won. Well, the friend was very depressed after this and committed suicide (or got hit by a truck) and I think maybe he was in love with this one girl. (I don't know a lot here, I am just going off of what I have found out or maybe I am making stuff up.) Well then the guy stops going to school and stuff and becomes a boxer and the girl has a lot of problems. The end of Tueday's episode was her about to walk off a cliff where the one guy is barried and just in nick of time the one guy catches her from behind. This was how the episode ended.

And as far as Korean comedies are concerned they just look wacky and I certainly have no idea what they are saying. (They probably wouldn't even be funny to me.)

Korean dramas and movies though I guess are very hot throughout Asia right now, so I am where the top entertainment is coming from in the East I suppose!

Korea Takeover!

I don't know about anyone else, but now when I look at my blog at the top it is in Korean. It says "Search Blog" and then the rest is in Korean. But then when I go to anyone else's blog it is in English. Does anyone else see this? Crazy!

Now that I have tackled being able to read Korean for the most part now I need to worry about understanding what I am reading and pronunciation and listening comprehension and talking. YEAH. . . that will take years!

Do I Really Need a Woman?

I feel like in Korea everyone is obsessed with not being alone and cannot be alone anywhere. People have to be with a friend, their family, in a group of other guys, a group of other women, or with their significant other. People constantly say to me "aren't you lonely?, you go shopping or sightseeing by yourself?" all in almost shocked ways. Then a usual question that is typical is "do you have a girlfriend?" followed by "Why not? You are so young and handsome." Okay, these are not inpolite and even a compliment here, but dear God! Then I am often told, "it is easy for you to find a girlfriend and have many girlfriends while you stay here in Korea." My usual response is "hm.. . good to know" or "if it happens it happnes." People usually just smile back, but hey I have news for you I mean I know body language and attractiveness is important, but I don't speak Korean so the whole conversation would be hard. I mean I suppose if I only wanted sex, that would be easy with all the girls that try to flirt with me on the street. I mean it is so the culture here, but ooh! Everything is about couples sometimes including Christmas Day is like a couple holiday here, GRR! I mean if I meet someone or while I am here go on some dates, I am not going to complain. If I fall in love in Korea, okay but that is one thing. I am just sick of people talking about how lonely I must be, I need a girlfriend, or I just need what shall we say some "physical" touch. A little freaky when I don't know a person that well and they are telling me what my needs are, okay . . .

I am just venting a bit on this subject because it seems to be everywhere and come up during everything.

I'll tell you when I go on a date. . . I do have two free movie tickets!

It has definitely been quit the weekend! Saturday morning I woke up late (10 AM), had some "good morning" coffee, prepared for my lesson later, showered and shaved and took a half hour subway ride and meet my friend by 11:30. I met him in the famous shopping area in the center of the city (the biggest in Korea) andn it is a cool place to be but like always lots of people. Well I got paid the day before and I was feeling okay and got enough cash to shop on I thought. Well, we ended up in the Lacoste store and if you don't get my emails, you can't see my purchase. Well, needless to say old habits are hard to break and I freaked out at the price of this sweater that I really liked and put it on the credit card my parents pay!!! I felt very guilty and text messaged my parents who are in Chicago this weekend having fun too. My dad said no problem, which was a huge relief! The only thing is that my friend didn't mention to tell me at the time of purchase that Lacoste is not the "in-brand" right now and Koreans don't like it so much. Whatever - I still love the sweater jacket I brough even if it isn't the "in" thing, it will still look good on me. Sometimes I feel like people are very into what the trends are and feel a sense of materialism here that I haven't quit been around before.

Then Saturday night I met one of my Korean friends at a American style bar. We had a good time and a very good conversation that makes me think a lot about things. Could be good and could be bad - but I had a good time.

Today I went to the Korean Church after I got to sleep in, but I didn't have a restful sleep exactly. My mind was still full of thinking from the conversation at the bar and some wacky dreams! Someday I will get a normal sleep schedule. Anyway, church was fine but no English translation today on songs and then I left right after the service. I had to meet my friend from Saturday night again in my neighborhood or district and he was going to come to my apartment.

I met him and he was going to come and help me with the information I would need to know to use the dry cleaners here and what to say, etc. Great, got that accomplished but when he walked in I could tell he was not impressed. I mean my place isn't exactly upscale and as a foreigner here I am doing okay and could live better I guess. If I stay maybe I would like to move to a better place - sure! But he totally came in and started making a mental note of things that I needed or could use! Then we walked to Jamsil, which is a very nice area of Seoul where Lotte World Amusement Park, Lotte World Hotel, Lotte Department Store, and Lotte Mart are so we could get some things. We ended up eating Chinese or what reminded me of Panda Express but nicer and sit down. We ordered too much food and it was kind of expensive, but hey I am making money and it was delicious. Then we go to Lotte Mart, the biggest supermarket/Walmart type place I have ever seen with more people than I have ever seen in a grocery store before. It was crazy ~ and my friend helped me find everything I needed since it is all Korean which was a huge help. I spent about $65 which is expensive for me I think, but maybe I have been pretty thrifty when I didn't have as much money.

I feel like there is almost a sense of trying to keep up with the norm or standard of living here, which I am not as used to. I have always been kind of the "trendy" guy or whatever, but here its like everyone is. . . GRR! Anyway, then we walked back here with the bags of stuff which was quit heavy, it was a muscle work out ~ but he wanted to show me the streets. Then he stayed for probably another two hours and we talked and had a beer and chips, etc. really nice guy. And he lives in Jamsil so it is good, it is easy to hang out.

Then he left and I started cleaning the kitchen cabinets and kitchen area. That was a work out too all the scrubbing and everything, but it looks the best it has since I have been here. (The people before me didn't do much cleaning before they left I guess - - boo to that!) There is still definitely work that needs to be done to this place to meet it to maybe having guests over standards. But at the same time I could use more space - but then that would mean more cleaning.

Also, by the way an extra bonus tonight was buying nice smelling fabric softener. My friend even showed me how to do it with a load of laundry - I think I understand, but he had to call his mother too, haha! So now my clothes won't dry to be stiff as boards, but feel like actual clothes again - - - YEAH!

Oh, I need to go to bed soon. . . tomorrow starts another crazy work week!

Oh, I feel drained tonight. That week just came and went and left me this weekend to recover, but I'll be busy. Tonight I freaked out today because I wasn't sure if we got paid or not, and texted my co-worker and he said yes we were. It is all direct deposit so they don't give us any paper ~ tomorrow I'll have to get some money out of the ATM to find out exactly how much I got for October! Ah sigh of relief on that. . . my first pay day for my first real job, I feel like this is a major milestone, but at the same time it is a bit different being in Korea. Tonight though at work I got nervous because my boss wanted us to end ten minutes early to have words with us teachers. The girl from Canada didn't come again today because of her leg so it is me and the three Korean teachers. Apparently parents have been complaining about us and all I could picture was being in some room with the door closed and my boss yelling loudly in Korean at us and I have no clue what he is saying! Enough to give me some nightmares! I am not going to worry about it again til Monday though because my boss was too tired to discuss it tonight. He is probably going to tell us to be nicer to the kids and everything after he told me a couple of weeks ago to be more disciplined. I have actually been doing that and making the kids put their arms up and stuff, but I'm a bit nervous. I am too new for this and I am under contract so I really don't have anything to worry about. If anyone should be worried it should be the Korean teachers probably. Eish. . .!

Tomorrow I am going shopping in a huge shopping district in the heart of Seoul. I am meeting one of my Korean friends so that will be fun and happy to have the company, help me celebrate shopping with my first real job money. Then I have my lesson and then another of my Korean friends invited me for dinner or to go to a bar with him tomorrow night. So Saturday will be busy and then Sunday is church.

Next Sunday I am obliged and pretty much have to visit my friend in Taejon another city about two hours away. I have cancelled on him now on two weekends, so I have to go. He is older than me and has a family and I know him from KU, but if you know anything about Korean culture I have to go and take a good gift. He is older than me and I have to respect him more plus if I don't go this next time maybe he won't invite me again.

Next week I am excited because I am going to try to finalize my trip to Taipei Taiwan during the week we have off at the end of December early January. He is a friend that I met at KU last year. He is like 12 years older than me and married but a graduate student in sociology. We got to know each other and discuss many things. Plus it will be cool to go to yet another country and where it will be a lot warmer compared to the colder winter here in Seoul.

I am thinking if things work out I might be going to Malaysia to visit a good friend from KU for the Chinese New Year in February. That is if God really takes her back to her home after she graduates in December, we'll see, but it would be nice to see her.

My apartment building, not the best picture. It really isn't a true apartment building they call them "villas" here in Korea. My place is on the right side to the bottom, you can't see the window becuase the car is blocking it.
The second picture is of the street that the villa is on surrounded by a lot of other villas.
 

Does Anyone Find this Creepy?

Last night in my last class with sixth graders, "the crazy ones" apparently they were discussing my sex drive. These kids seem obsessed with everything about my body from arm hair, to my hair, to now who knows what. EEHH! The really funny is that my boss was there and he doesn't care. He was even looking up the words in the dictionary for them for "semen", "sperm", and "ovum". They were like "teacher, you know tadpole" and drew it on the paper. I figured it out, and my boss was just talking away with them in Korean. Then he looks at me and he is like they say "you eat lots of energy food, so you have good semen." Definitely a different style here of teaching and what is open for discussion. I mean maybe I should take this as a compliment, but I just can't they're sixth graders, creeps me out a bit. But I guess at that age, you'll pretty much a pervert. So yesterday the kids learned, "semen", "sperm", and "ovum" at about 9:45 PM.

Good work!

I almost lost it again tonight and it actually felt like I did for a while. Nothing to do with work, today actually was a great day at work and a good start to the week. I am actually starting to enjoy teaching and doing my job more and more! Great news!

It wasn't the weather either or that it is really starting to get cold. Apparently it was even lightly snowing here in Seoul tonight for a while and it feels like 22 degrees Fareinheight. But I am not turning on my heat yet!

No, those are not the reasons. We all know what I value a lot in my life right now is that I have a computer here in Seoul and I have the internet in my apartment. It keeps me busy, entertained, and it allows me to feel connected with everyone back in the States somewhat. Plus I talk to my parents online usually at least once a day, which is nice to have. Well tonight my computer froze like completely froze and I thought it was broke or a virus had got to it. I sat here in disbelief and started to really feel sad and cry. (Yeah, it takes a man to admit he cried because he thought his computer broke and that means no more internet.) And then I thought you know I am trying to get off it more and actually enjoy Seoul more than I already am and make myself get out more than I already am. I thought hm maybe God is really making me rely on Him because the internet could be kind of a crutch for me sometimes. So, I seriously was trying to see the positive about it and very mad that I was grieving so much about this problem. I thought people made it in other countries without the internet and being able to chat with people everyday back home, I need to too and trust God for everything! So I prayed for a while and read the Bible a bit and then went to bed. I unplugged the computer and decided well I'll let the battery die and then turn it back on to see what happens. So I did that and turned it back on and it is working again! I am not sure what the problem was but I am hoping it doesn't happen again, but I am a little worried about my computer now. Everyone say a prayer for my computer! I survived and will be okay.

Techno Mart, isn't this look cool! 

How do I want to start this post? Let's see. . .

Last night I ended up going to the mall Techno Mart and ended up going to a couple of stores. I bought a floor pillow type thing to sit on when I sit on the floor praying, reading, or watching TV for about 12 USD. Then I bought a book for Korean kids learning how to read to help me with vocabulary with stuff for 2 year olds. I still don't understand half of it, haha! Then I walked around the mall a little bit, there is a reason it is called Techno Mart. It is eight stories, and about six of those eight are entirely technology and electronic stuff. One floor for cell phones, another floor for TVs, another for computers, etc. I took a really cool picture of one of the areas, it was really colorful and fun to look at. I think I'll post it separately from this post, look for it above. I ate dinner there and the food cart and felt like I am surrounded by rich fashionable people everywhere.

Today I didn't go to the English service church because my friend was studying for his last midterm tomorrow and I was tired. Too much caffeine yesterday! But I was still going to meet everyone at the Korean church and I had to get there on my own from the subway station. The subway station is the Seoul Express Bus Terminal one of the biggest stations with a huge shopping area there. I could not figure out how to get out of it, and of course got frustrated. I need to keep the frustration to a minimun even with a cell phone it is still hard to communicate sometimes. I finally found an exit and was trying to tell them where I was and they didn't really have a clue. They told me to wait and I did, the one guy found me and it turns to come out I was very close to the church at the right exit. I just needed to walk further. .. .so we were a little late.

The Korean church I feel more connected with than the English service church. The English service church is very big and I really don't know many people there but I know a lot from the Korean church because they are my friend's friends. Anyway, so I got there today and they put some of the English translations to the worship songs on the screen above the Korean. I cannot express how much that meant to me because we all know I am the only American at this church and to be able to follow along and sing some of the songs in English is awesome, even if it isn't all of them. I was like they are realy going out of their way here to make me feel good there. Then I joined my friend's small group today and most of them spoke English or okay English to me and tried to do the group half English half Korean. It was one girl's birthday so we had a delicious chocolate cake that we ate with chopsticks. Next week I guess I am going to be officially welcomed into the church. I can't exactly do the new member's class because it is in Korean and also I am already pretty grounded in my faith, so to speak. But anyway, my friend said this isn't a problem and it is the best to just join his group and next week I'll have to stand in front and be welcomed and they will give me flowers. I really like this church and the people there. Over the Chinese New Year they are going on a mission trip to Israel, Jordan, and Egypt and it is actually very cheap. I am undecided but they are like "you sign up" I don't know need to pray about it. I don't even know if these are the same days I have off for work. If I don't have work off during this week I really can't go. Also, I have talked to my parents some and we might try to see each other that week maybe not in Seoul but we would meet in Sydney. We'll see. . .

Then after church I went with three other guys and we ended up going to Baskin Robins for ice-cream. We had a big bowl with green tea, red bean (very good sweet, here in Korea), cotton candy, and another flavor. . . it was an interesting mix. Jaja! Then I came back here and ate at the kimbap house place and had the soup with kimchi cooked in it, it is quit spicy but very good with rice and the side dishes.

Here in Korea it is finally getting cooler. Today was the coldest day yet I think, but it wasn't too bad. But everyone kept saying to me aren't you cold? Do you have a coat? You need to prepare because this week colder, put more clothes on. In Korea this is normal I guess, maybe you are smart enough to know its cold and put clothes on but in Korea it's just something to tell and give this advice to someone.

Today they also asked me how much money I make. Another normal question here in Korea and I said well tell me what is normal for teachers like me and then maybe I'll tell you. They told me about 1.3 million won a month, I am making a bit more than that and told them and they were like you must be a star teacher! Hm. . good! I get my first paycheck next Friday. . . yippee!!!

Tonight I am going to study some more Korean and at about 9:45 - 10:45 there is a drama on TV that I like. I really don't know what it is about, but it is about this young woman who has memory problems maybe. She loves this guy, but the relationship is full of stupid fights that make it funny. In Korea young couples seem to like to provoke each other and have these big dramatic fights and then a couple hours later make up. Koreans are very expressive I would say in their own way, but at the same time its different because they still have the whole idea of "saving face" in all of that. I cannot really describe it, but they are not like the Japenese I don't think who are very expressionless, they have a spunk to them.

Also, Korean people seem to be very good readers of emotion by someone's tone of voice, body language, eye movement. People already say my face gives away everything, so in Korea I must be a really open book! For example, today when I was trying to figure out how to get out of the subway station my friend didn't say anything til later. Then he says "sometimes you get too frustrated, don't worry so much like this morning."

What else? I am in Korea for a little bit over a month and I have already been thinking about what I am going to do next with my life. Hello! Enjoy the moment, and don't worry so much yet you have time. A part of me is like well what if you come to really like it here and want to stay for a while, or go to another country (maybe a Spanish speaking country - one of my life goals), go back to the States and go back to school, or go back to the States and get a job. I don't know, as hard as it is here at times I don't know if I am supposed to be in the States permanently. Right now I am supposed to be here in Korea because that is where God has put me and wants me to carry out His purpose here. Right now I just need to relax and just try to enjoy it here everyday in teaching, exploring, or spending time with new friends.

The first picture is inside the tunnel you go through to get to the Han River Park. It is huge and runs along the river in Seoul. I really like going there to walk and relax, it is about a 15 minute walk from my apartment. Today was cloudy and cool, but it is still very nice. You can see a little bit of the city skyline on the other side of the river in this picture.

The second picture is of a garden area, kind of a community garden I think. But it has beautiful flowers; marigolds, petunias, impatients, and others. Today I spent some time walking through it and going up in the little gazeebo like thing and relaxing. I really liked being there and being able to smell the flowers too.

The last picture is of a giant cabbage in a cabbage patch area of this garden. You can see some of the apartment construction going up behind the gazeebo in the sceond building. There is a ton of construction of these huge high rise apartment parks. Crazy!

Then I cam back home after doing some food shopping and made some delicious pasta with cherry tomatoes, green peppers, pepper, and some Craft Parmageon Cheese that cost over $6!

I have my private lesson in a couple of hours and then I am going to one of the malls to try to find something to make my aparment look better. Actually I want to find a floor pillow to sit on because I find myself sitting on the floor a lot!
 

I am learning a lot about myself I think here in Korea. Today was 200% better than yesterday and 1000% better than the day before! I felt better mentally, supported more at work, enjoyed most of my classes, and felt more confident and adequate. This felt very nice.

I have learned this week that culture shock isn't just apparent mentally but physically too. For the past week or so it seems like I have always had a constant headache that is worse at some times than others, but can almost be described as numbing at times. Also, my body seems very stiff a lot of the time and tense, I consider this to be part of the experience, I have never felt more alive and like an old man at the same time, haha! But enough complaining.

Today after work I went to visit the girl from Canada upstairs with the leg issue who can't work this week and probably next week too. I feel bad for her during the day she pretty much just stays in her apartment and sleeps because she cannot really walk around. I miss her at work, the other foreign teacher to talk to because all the Korean teachers are super stressed out!

Then my Korean friend called me the one that came for dinner with some guys last night, which was very nice. I sent him an email last night expressing my feelings and a lot of how I felt. Another email with a little bit of bitterness attached to it probably because he called me to see how I was doing, etc. I apologized for everything including last night. Then one of the other guys called me too and we talked for a while. I think they were all afraid of what I was going to do last night after I stormed off back to work after a quick good-bye on the street. Even after everything I still feel like it is hard for me to express myself fully to them about everything, is that make sense?

Tonight I was reading some in Psalms and just spending some time with God. Psalm 46 is one of those Psalms that has been relevant to my life several times in the past four to five years. Verses 10 and 11 especially:

Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.

The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our Fortress.

It kind of told me that I need to slow things down and try to get control of my feelings and emotions somewhat because they can change like the wind. I need to focus on Him, who is never changing for my strength and comfort. I know that there will be times when I will feel like I am insane, and that is normal and I will accept it. I can, however, chose how I react to those times and will be working on that with everything I am learning in mind.

I feel like I am about to lose my mind, have a nervous break down, and sometimes just want to give up everything for a while. . . this week is kicking my ass! I was doing okay or so I thought until yesterday when I did lose it a little bit and started crying at a work dinner at a nice Japenese restaurant. Today I did wake up though and felt better after a lot of encouragement and trying to think positive. Today even started and went better for the most part. Some of my friends here even came to my area for dinner, which was very nice, but I think my one friend felt sorry for me. Okay, so my boss told me to take a break during my dinner time and then 7:00 don't worry about it, Chris comes. So I thought so if I need to I can skip the 7:00 class too and even called my boss from the restaurant making sure this was okay. Well my friends took me to a a good restaurant and we had like Mongolian BBQ type stuff very closet the school. Well it was about 7:10 my fellow teacher sends me a text message in all caps that says, "WHERE ARE YOU??? CHARLIE SENT YOU ON BREAK ALMOST AN HOUR AGO. CHRIS NEEDS YOUR HELP!" What the hell! I texted him back and was like Charlie said it was okay, do you want me to come back. Well we finished and then I left right after that because he texted me again saying that I was taking too long of a break. I was a bit mad and frustrated and walked up to the school and apologized profusely again and started working again. Then I asked my coworker, so when is my break now and he was like "there is no set time right now, it is just kind of whenever there is time." I guess since we are short of teachers now. . . plus it was diary day. So I had to check all of their writings on the computer, plus all the extra paper versions which is almost impossible to finish. And they only want me to do this since I am a native speaker, which makes sense but Shit! I am so damn mad, I raced home tonight after work in a fury. I am trying to think positive and get through this and I am strong enough and will carry through. Sometimes it is just very hard and people don't seem to get it, even my Korean friend tonight at dinner didn't seem that empathetic. He was the one that texted me last night after I told him what was up, "you are a grown man" pretty much that I need to get over it! This is part of the process, experience of adjusting to a new culture, but right now it sucks! I am trying to do everything I know to stay positive and lean on God, but even small things are hards and seem to make me mad. I am hanging in there and it will be okay, I'll return to sanity soon!

HOME!
Included are pictures of the wasing machine, the rest of the bathroom. Yeah the bathroom is not much to look at, but I am getting used to the shower. Water does go everywhere sometimes but oh well!
Also, the small kitchen area and then the mail living area of my apartment.

Home Sweet Home!

I realize there two posts about the same thing. But enjoy the pictures!

Today I took the subway to the middle of Seoul to find Doeksugung Palace, which I did eventually as you can see in the pictures. But at first I just saw the wall and didn't know where the entrance was, so I just kept walking. It ended up being quit a nice and quant area, very charming! I ended up eating at a restaurant that had Spaghetti with minced beef and a good vegetable sauce and a coke, it was a little bit more than usual but it was worth it. Then I found the art museum and went through the three story exhibit titled Dual Reality. I didn't understand all of it or the point but I think it was challenging what we think of as reality, very modern a lot of DVD and sound displays. The best part was on the third floor was a display with a wood floor with flowers painted on it, A sort of Japanese paper on it, and a projector of light looking down on it. It was animated and when I got there some little kids were throwing the paper around and then the mom joined them. Then I did and a few others did too, but the more you throw the paper around the brighter the garden gets and the flowers start to pop! It was neat.
I finally found the Palace entrance but they were having some culture show today and there was a bunch of people dressed up in traditional Korean style. I finally went in and was surprised by how big the area was and how calm, peaceful and tranquil it was. It was a perfect Fall day too, cloudy with a breeze but not too cold. It was nice.
Right now I am watching TV on the TV my boss bought me. The thing is though that for some reason I get none of the English channels including the one sponsored by the US Army. And they have already came and hooked the cable up, so what is the deal. Right now I am watching some Korean drama and making up my own story when I pay attention!
Today was a good day, even though last night I sent an email to a friend that is probably going to come back in bite me! Oh well . . . I am in Korea.

Okay, so today around 12:30 I left my apartment and took about a forty minute subway ride to go see this palace. Well i got off the subway and saw the wall right away but I had no idea where you were just supposed to go in. I just decided to walk up the street which ended up being a very nice quant little area. It was charming! I ended up eating at a restaurant and having very good spaghetti with minced beef and vegatable sauce and a coke for about $7.50, so kind of high. Then I ended up finding the Seoul Art Museum and decided to go through the exhibit titled "Dual Realities" 3 floors of it. It was interesting, but I don't think I understood all of it, I think the purpose was about questioning reality and stuff and they did that through art, but modern art. Like DVD animation stuff, and very modern things. The third floor, however, had a very fun exhibit that was hands on. It was a square wood area with flowers painted on it, covered in Japenense paper of some sort, and then a projector shining on it with light that was somehow animated. Well there were kids throwing paper in the air and then at one point a lot of us were throwing it up because that it was made the flower garden come alive. I cannot really explain it, but I liked that part the best and watching the kids have a blast throwing the paper. Then finally I found Deoksugung Palace in the middle of the city surrounded by the sky scrapers that surely weren't there when it was built. I found out that today there was a culture show to so there were all of these people dressed up in traditional costumes I added a photo. The palace area is very big, and it was peaceful and the day was great for it. Fall like, cloudy but still light and there was a breeze while I was walking around just admiring its beauty and imagining what it was like when royalty lived there. However, this palace is not as old as some probably only goes back to 1592 I guess, that is what my information card says. I had a good afternoon discovering more of Seoul!

Then after that I bought a cord to connect my camera to my computer so now I can show pictures. I discovered that Techno Mart is an eight story mall. . .where I got it. I could spend some won there, wait until I get paid though before I decide to buy anything more though maybe and even then it is better conserve.

So today was a better day than last night ended up being. My parents sent me a package yesterday and they tried to send me a bottle of Baileys, but the bottle broke, which is llike my favorite drink. However, the two bottles of Sapphire Gin stayed in tack, so last night I had some of that maybe more than I should've. I also sent an email that is probably going to come back and bite me in the face, which was not a "drunk email" but I don't know about it.

Enjoy the pictures!

I wanted to give all my blog readers out there more of the "nitty-gritty" of how Korea and I are getting along. I will make it easier by putting it in list form. Enjoy!

1. At times, some times more intense or others something just hits me and I feel like I could just break into tears rather at work, in my apartment, on the street, or wherever. I am not sure if it is from everything new or missing home or what, but it never seems to be something(s) that I can concretely say make me want to cry.

2. I am really understanding what the real work world is in a sense and having to adjust. The week is really centered on work and it seems to take up most of the time. At least I like my job and think it will continue to get better with time and learning more. But yeah working full-time. . .

3. Seoul is a big city and I cannot exactly just go and hang out with a friend when I feel like it. And even if I did they have busy lives too. But it isn't like good old Lawrence Kansas where nothing is really over a fifteen minute drive maybe if that. So sometimes I feel pretty lonely and isolated in this city of more than 10 million people.

4. I am trying to find the balance of creating my "own" life here with new friends and new routines while keeping up with my friends in the states or wherever. I realize I can to a point, but it isn't the same and that I can't spend all my time dwellinng on everyone I love back home. I have to create my own circle of friends and support again, which is hard. I didn't expect or want to miss everyone as much as I do.

5. I have read three novels since being in Korea and it hasn't even been a month yet. I am on my fourth but it will take longer because it is in Spanish.

6. I love Korean food a lot and have come to like everything being spicy except for some of the fish and seafood and of course the pig intestines soup!

7. Work is good and I seem to like it, but it wears me out sometimes by the end of the day. Some of my middle school classes I don't seem to have much control over and my boss knows that. He came in tonight and was like next week you change class, better for you. Jennifer will do it - better. I know it isn't an insult or anything, more of a pride issue in how it makes me feel. But I have learned I have just had to shove my pride down countless times to save face and also just so I don't go insane or lose it. Another example of this is eating out with my boss and still trying to perfect my chopstick skills and he looks at me and says, "use spoon Ty, its better for you." I am really trying though and want to use them, but when he says that I have to respect him and use the spoon.

8. I have to focus on the positives and what God has already provided and blessed me with more than anything. I have to rely on Him a lot to keep my positive attitude and get through the rough times. I am so fortunate to have an honest boss, friends in Korea that I knew before I got here, church already, and new friends who geniunly want to be friends.

9. Learning Korean is very difficult. I am trying to teach myself through a book and the internet right now. I think I am improving though and have even asked some co-workers for pronunciation help sometimes. I am starting to pick up the reading a lot easier now, so I can read but don't really understand 99% of the words I read. I can definitely pick up very common usage words in everyday speech but sometimes I still don't know what they mean. AAHH!

10. Being here is a constant journey and process for the mind to grasp everything, which seems overwhelming sometimes by everything that you think and go through moving to another country or putting yourself in a situation like me.

My Korean friend after lunch decided to inform me about the two biggest psychological shocks people experience in thier lives. (Mind the spelling errors please.)

1. Having a parent die
2. Being in an environment or culture where you don't know the language

Haha! She is so funny!
I think I am doing okay though. . . .

This is the book that I have just finished reading The Interpreter by Suki Kim. Suki Kim is a Korean American and wrote a book about Korean American woman, a child of Korean immigrants in New York City area. It takes place entirely in New York but at the same time the Korean culture aspect is still there. It starts five years after Susy's parents were murdered randomly or was it random. This story is about how Susy discovers the true reasons behind her parents deaths and how this changes her. When we meet Susy is an interpreter for law suit dispositions with Korean immigrants who for some reason are in the court system. This story though is just as much about Susy and her life, which is pretty sad. She is Korean and American but neither one is really home or at least that is what she was taught. It is about her always seaching for her identity but never really finding one through many one-way relationships that she is content with, and going from one job to the other. She also finds out a lot about her sister Grace and the role she had in her parents deaths and the role she had in the family. Although this book does end with closure to the meet of the issue, it leaves you (the reader) with no closure about Susy's character. It is almost sad how this book ends with you still wondering will Susy ever be happy. This was an interesting book, but it seemed to be missing something throughout. But maybe it was supposed to feel like that since Susy is also missing something to her life too.

I would just like to share with you a classic example of Konglish or Korean + English at one of its funniest and worst. A lot of Koreans think they know English, but oh they are so wrong sometimes. For example, this week I bought a notebook at a store that I found pretty, shall we say. The company or name of this particular notebook is Pure Heart. Okay, that is noble, and then you read the little poem on the first page when you open the notebook and you think "OH MY!"
But feel free to laugh as hard and long as you want. Enjoy!

Oh,

on an early morning

I think

I shall live forever!

I am wrapped

in my joyful flesh,

As the grass is wrapped

in its clouds of green.

What The Heck!

Last night I didn't get to actually sleep or seriously in bed till around 2, okay the usual. I am a fairly light sleeper though, but you didn't have to just be a light sleeper to hear this ruckos this morning at about five minutes till 5. I heard a woman yelling, crying, it sounded like she was having a temper tantrum. Then I heard another voice talking but loudly, maybe a man I was a bit freaked out by this. Then this girl starts really losing it and I hear many glass bottles being thrown hard and against a wall or something and shattering. Okay, maybe they are drunk which wouldn't be that unusual for Koreans and especially this neighborhood, but they are a little violent than most Koreans. It keeps going and they are loud for the next twenty minutes maybe and then I hear doors being opened and slammed. I go to my door and look out the peep hole only to discover it is the people directly across from mine and there are four apartments downstairs. At one point an older man opens the door, next to mine and looks out then I hear him chuckle and close the door. It is a chuckle like, "oh those young people" or something to this nature. Then I finally see a young guy come out with a coat on in bags and he leaves. . . kicked out? I don't know but that is my best guess because he came back a couple of hours and knocked a lot on the door and all of that. Oh young people - they don't let me sleep and once again what schedule are Koreans living on?!

Okay, I have decided to try to start blogging more instead of sending out so many mass emails. Right now there is nothing real big or important to write a huge email for anyway, so I'll blog until I find it is necessary to do my famous emails. I think I might have gone overboard on the emails some people were starting to joke that it was like I was sending out research papers everyday. I don't want to put that much pressure on people to feel like they have to read something that does not really interest them or have something to do with them. I mean other people have lives too and they could write just as long as emails out to all of their friends about their own life in the states. So from now on I apologize, I will try to keep them to only two or three times a week instead of everyday and maybe a little less in volume too.

But right now it is about 1:20 AM here and of course I am still awake this is normal. Good thinng everyday except Tuesday and Thursday I don't have to be at work till around 1:45 or 1:50. Tuesdays and Thursdays aren't bad either it is 11:50 for another week or so doing private lessons with a lady and then back to 1:40. At least I get a free lunch out of that though because we go out after the lesson and my boss pays for everything. The only complaint is that I wish I could do more during the week sometimes instead of work, my neighborhood (area of the city), and my apartment. I can't do anything on week nights really unless after 10 but the subways close down at midnight so I would have to pay for a taxi I guess if I was somewhere else. My mom says, "Welcome to the working World!" the week is for work and weekends are fun. The weekends do seem kind of to be the time to get out and relax more and see friends. This city is so big even with the subways you have to plan when to see people because it could be an hour one way. I am adjusting. . . I am still liking Korean food for the most part and crave some things. I have my moments with the Korean metal chopsticks, but truly believe I am getting better.

I have discovered that I can watch TV through the internet tonight. One country that has channels that come in the clearest is Spain. I found a telenovela I can start watching at 10:30 Seoul time I think, right now MTV is on the Madrid Channel with current American and Spanish stuff. Paula Rubia (spelling) is very hot with her one song right now. . . which I have known. The music video is something else. . .do I really need to buy a TV?

Work is good for the most part, but it has its moments. For the most part the kids can wear me out, and they are smart, and entertaining all at the same time. Ah. . . I really need to start trying to go to bed early. But then I would wake up earlier and do what? Staying up at night is almost better because I have a better chance of catching people online. . . well maybe.

Home

Okay, so I am not really home "home". But this orning with a cell phone, internet in my apartment, and realizing my gas stove works it was a celebration! I boiled some water and poured some of the instant coffee in a glass, which is surpising good, and had a glass. Maybe I'll have another glass before work, next I need to buy like a kettle type thing and a coffee mug maybe tonight. Then I made some spaghetti with my Prego sauce, I personally like Ragoo better or homemade sauce. I have olive oil too and tonight I am going to try to buy some cherry tomatoes at the street market because noodles, olive oil, and cherry tomatoes are my favorite!

I called the girl tha I met at McDonalds that day who speaks perfect Spanish and goes to the same church. Except I never see her because I go to a different service with my friend. But my Spanish was terrible this morning. . .but now she has my number and we'll see each other again soon or I think that would be nice.

I am desperately trying not to be worried or concerned like most South Koreans about the whole North Korea issue. But I am starting to worry a bit and pray to God that North Korea does not do a second test. They already state that they see the UN sanctions as an act of war and the crazy guy up there is not afraid to defend what is his. Please Pray for this whole situation and for the people of South Korea and its government, even though no one seems to be on edge here, at least normal civilians. I am trying to take this approach also.

And I have been looking for my UBS port wire that connects my camera to my computer so I can send out pictures. I hope I find it, else I'll have to find one to buy which wouldn't be hard, but I don't want to of course.

Jet Lag seemed to be a week behind me here in Korea. It seems to have had its revenge this week on me. I am very tired at work from the hours of 5-7 usually but then after work I can't sleep till 2 or 3 usually. Some of this might be from all the coffee I have been driinking through work. But then I usually wake up early around 9 everyday feeling pretty tired and if I am lucky I will go back to sleep for a while. Well this morning I wanted to kill a couple of kids. It was very early this morning and I finally was sleeping for a couple of hours and then all of a sudden at 6:55 I wake up! Why you ask? Because at this ungodly hour on a Saturday morning there are Korean kids outside the building or next apartment laughing, playing games, having a good time. Do people here have the weirdest sense of time or is it just me, what are they up for and with so much energy this early. . . I wanted to ring their necks and curse at them. I think I finally fell back asleep later like at least a good forty-five minutes and woke up at 11.

Ah. . . I am going to a movie tonight till then maybe not much.. . .maybe go buy another CD.

I thought I would try to write some more this morning. I've had a couple of good days in a row here in Korea and that makes me happy! Yesterday I found one of the malls that was 90% open despite the holiday. I bought a nice new pillow to sleep on and two CDs so that I can play them on my laptop at home. So I can have some sound at least until I hope to have internet Monday night or Tuesday and a cell phone shortly after that. The apartment is okay. . . just takes getting used to living there. I think the shower/bathroom is the part that takes the most adjusting. Also, it seems like there are not many outlets in the apartments here so maybe I need to buy a power strip surge protector thing and they put the outlets in strange places it seems to me.

I have met some very nice people. Yesterday I was at McDonalds in the mall and saw a girl with a Spanish dictionary and asked her if she spoke Spanish. We talked for maybe almost in hour and Spanish and she was a Christian. She invited me to some church event tonight and I was like where is it? Well, comes to turn out she goes to the same church that my friend goes to that I am going to on Sunday morning for service. So that should be fun tonight it is part of the English/international ministry they have there. God must really want to make sure I get in with the right people here and get taken care of. Which could be kind of a good balance from the people at work and a lot of people in Korea who sociolise by drinking. Drinking seems to be a national sport here and many people drink. People think other people are their true selves after a couple of drinks. . . . I mean I am all about it sometimes with the coworkers and stuff but I don't really want my experiences here in Korea to be summarised by all the drinking I did.

Today I think I am going to travel back to the mall and buy some more CDs because I didn't bring any with me, how sad! I might go explore some other sections of the city that I have not been to yet and then tonight is that event at church.

Last night I had dinner upstairs with the girl from Canada and her boyfriend she made Tacos. Taco Mix from Costco, which I don't know where that is. But they were pretty good and then I watched some of Cold Mountain on TV with them. I have been sleeping pretty good at night when you are supposed to and for at least 7 or 8 hours.

Work starts Monday, I am a little bit nervous but at the same time I kind of know how it is going to be from last Monday when I got here. It seems pretty fun actually with all the kids and at times it will almost be like babysitting. I hope I am competant, but it seems pretty easy.

This morning I found another PC Bang right down the street from my place. Once again it is pretty nice but just people playing computer games for hours on end it seems like. And the people that work here are own it seems to be an older couple and they are constantly bringing drinks to the customers and stuff. If anyone ever comes to visit me I'll have to take you to one of these places, I bet I could write an entire paper about the PC Bangs here and the customers they serve and the average time teenagers spend at them, etc.

Korea!!

Yes, my first full post in Korea and I have no idea what to say about everything yet. I still don't have a cell phone, internet in my apartment, or a TV so that is a bit frustrating. I won't be able to get those until at least Monday because right now we are in Holiday, the Fall Harvest Moon Festival maybe, the Korean Thanksgiving. People honor their ancestors during this time and the city seems deserted which is crazy!

What else? I have met two of my friends already, which is a huge blessing to know two Seoulites here. I am going to church with my guy friend on Sunday, so that is nice too.

I start work on Monday (2 -10 Monday - Friday).

Until I think about it some more - I'll figure out what to post more about. I have been sending out a lot of my mass emails with updates and details. If for some reason you aren't on that list and want to be current - let me know and I'll get your email address.

Till the next post.

Just so everyone knows I have arrived safe and sound in South Korea! Look for more news later.

So next time I put up a post it will be from South Korea, how wild is that?!!! My last night (well my last full night) in the US and suddenly I had this thought about how I ended up at this point, you know getting ready to go to Korea to teach children English for a little bit more than a year. Like this is definitely one of those where it is like never in a million years would I have imagined this scenario for myself, but here I am. There are so many things like that in my life where looking back at them I see how things fit and how that came to be, but so many times before like I am now, I thought okay. . . how did I end up here? It is just kind of funny and I think sometimes God had a crazy sense of humor when He made my life plan, like He must've known somehow that I needed an extra spontaneous crazy life to keep me guessing all the time and on the ball. You know. . . but I am glad He didn't pick a boring life for me, but at the same time does God create people for boring lives? No, surely not.

It is really interesting too to note that I am not really scared or nervous about this trip. I just feel excited and good. I don't know if I am setting myself up to be let down, but for some reason my mind is like telling me, "don't worry, you'll going to love it, you aren't going to have problems making friends, etc. " Like I am ready for some surprises of course and some that I'll have to get through, but I am not worried at all, it is a super great feeling! I remember when I was about to go to Guatemala for six weeks being very nervous and worried and that didn't turn out bad. Maybe I am overconfident. . . . you think?

I have to say I have always been interested in the Lost in Asia blog and more recently the Crabby Rangoon blog that I have discovered this week from Lost in Asia. I don't really know them that well, but know who they are and it is amusing to me to read about how they are adjusting to Hong Kong. Ah, Asia it is a lot to look forward to, I can tell!

Something to Watch

I am addicted to the Travel Channel, I love it! Well, tonight I watched two episodes in a row of the new series called Moms on the Road: Africa. I think anyone who has access to the Travel Channel should look this show up and watch it. It is about I think eight American women who are moms who come from different areas and backgrounds and go to Africa. They are going to be in like four different countries in six weeks and they all come with different preconceived notions, expectations, etc. The social work part of me just is like this is awesome! It has these women who are so different with such different lives and about what they bring with them from home to the experience, what happens in Africa and how that is all effected by what they brought to the table before it even started, the relationships between the women. They were in Cape Town South Africa the two episodes I saw and like one day they pretty much buid from scratch a play room at like an orphanage type of situation in a very poor are and then they go to the 5-Star hotel on the water for the next two days and the feelings and what goes on. There is one lady, named Pat, the oldest one there that happens to be an African-American woman who I think is the neatest lady. She is grounded, she has done her research about the Africa and the countries before she went, she looks like a great social worker to me on all aspects and just has that sage aurora about her. Then there is another lady married for fifteen years and announces on the trip that she is leaving her husband because she is gay, and then some of the other women are like "Yeah, Good for you!" Wait a second. . . I can support her decision and try to understand, but really applause and shouts of joy I don't know if I could do that. There are other consequences there does she not see them? Hello! Anyway. . .everyone if you have access watch an episode!

By the way, I am leaving for Korea on Saturday now officially since I have a plane ticket! Yeah for me, and I'll have an eight hour delay in Chicago, but oh well what can you do. I'll arrive in Korea at 5AM Monday morning, which is 3PM Sunday Kansas time.

5 More Days!

I am getting pretty excited and restless about leaving to start my new life (well not exactly new, but a new chapter) in Korea! I am still expected to leave next Friday morning sometime even though I don't have an official plane ticket yet. Apparently the school was late in giving the agency their credit card number to book the first ticket, so now they have to rebook it. They promise me though that I am still leaving on Friday because the school expects me to get there on Saturday. I won't have my own place for at least the first week and I will be staying with Charlie himself, of Charlie's EFL College (the school that I'll work at for fifteen months). He lives in the middle of Seoul in a very nice part by Lotte World (amusement park in the middle of the city) and Lotte World Hotel and shopping mall. My friend who works for the census department in Korea told me that I am a very lucky man because I will be in such a famous and very rich area of Seoul. My other friend is excited about my arriving too, I am taking her some makeup and books that she ordered to. She is like you will be arriving for Autumn which is very beautiful here and mountain climbing. Then I'll probably see the other guy too that I haven't met yet, my friend's friend. I have his cell phone number and everything and I think he is excited to meet me. I hope I end up really liking it there and its not two months into it I am so depressed and ready to break the contract and lose all kinds of money and come home. I hope I like the food and can get used to it alright, that is my biggest fear. if not I'll have to go to all the American places everyday I guess and spend tons of money!

I also have to think about all that I am leaving behind here though in the states by going to Korea. My grandma is dying of cancer and if she goes like a week after I am there, I don't know if I'll see the funeral. But the funny part is though that in the last three weeks I have seen her more than my brother and dad and rest of the family becuase they don't really go near death. Plus we have never ever been super close to her. My other grandparents came down this weekend and will be down until Monday morning. My 81 year old grandma keeps talking about how she doesn't think she'll be alive anymore when I get back, which is a little bit of a downer. But everyone seems to be supportive and understanding except for all this talk of death.
What about all of my friends though? Will I still be good friends with some of my best friends when I come back or whatever happens? I guess it will help me realize the people who truly are my good life long friends, but I am not too worried I have a lot of life long friends already I think. So much will change, but a lot will stay the same I hope like my family and friends and the love for and from them. Okay, I am not going to start being too sappy and sentimental.

Packing is pretty much done. . . except for the stuff I won't pack until the day or two before. I am doing really good though with the two suitcases that I'll check in I am hoping to be at 100 lbs total or under which is good (considering that I took 45 lbs to Cape Cod this summer for five days)! It still makes me laugh that I ended up taking that much! I am having a little bit of trouble at times trying to make myself face the question of "do I really need to take this?" There has been some taking stuff out of the luggage and then later repacking it back or spending ten minutes deciding if something should really come out or stay in. I think I'll be fine though.

I am ready to go!

Another Book

Tokyo Cancelled is another book that I just recently bought and finished aobut four days. It is a book about 13 people who find themselves stuck in the Tokyo Airport for a night because of snow. They are from all over the world and a Japense man suggests that they all tell a story to pass the night. Well, it begins and the stories are set in modern time all over the world; China, Poland, Germany, England, US, Japan, etc. All the stories are fiction or so we are led to believe with strange twists and some almost fairy tale, fantasy stuff going on. They all start in one way and then end up in an unexpected way, I thought and some left you feeling happy, confused, sad, or hurt. I thought this was an interesting read.

Quick note about my departure date it is now I believe going to be Friday September 29th instead of Wednesday, but that is only 2 more days to wait. I am so ready to go!

Well, I can't sleep. I thought I was tired and tried to go to bed tonight before 11 o'clock, but instead I turned the computer back on to check the email and blog while sipping some wine. I turned another year older today, I am still very young, but at the same time is it possible to feel sort of old even though you aren't. I mean I know in the grand scheme of life I am still pretty young, but turning 23 just feels weird. I remember when we thought people who were seniors in high school and 18 were old and look at me now, I've passed that now by five years. I think I am pretty happy with what I have done thus far though and I am even more excited to see what happens in the next 30, 40, 50, 60, even 70 years for my life! But for the record after 25, I won't be counting any more at least for a while and I will remain 25, haha! Oh I am growing up. . . . maybe in 10 more years I'll consider myself grown up!

But lately since I have been at home a lot and been bored I have been reflecting back on some things. So, picture me just graduated from high school and then a couple of months later I moved up to Lawrence Kansas to go to college. My first year of college I did somewhat okay with keeping up with my good friends from high school or so I thought. And then after that I don't know I had my own friends from college, who by that point I was closer to and everything was different at home. People went different directions or had new friends too, and I kind of put a lot of distance between them and me. I don't think I ever felt ashamed of my "roots" or whatever, it just with time I didn't want to keep revisiting that and acting like things never changed from high school. A lot of my friends think that I thought I got all better for them and brushed them off or that I changed and was more serious and grown up acting, which was bad. They all liked the crazy fun guy from high school, which I still am. But at the same time looking back at it now how I acted in high school was almost embarrassing for me knowing that I was so immature at the expense of everyone's laughter and jokes, but that is what everyone liked about me. Then I heard the rumors from my brother about what people were saying about me who I went to high school with, even some of my good friends that I was gay and all of this. Who started that up and made that up because that hurt a lot and of course I don't want to talk to those people then and distanced myself further. Anyway, I don't know why exactly I distanced myself away from everyone so much, but if they looked back I checked out of high school by the end of my junior year. Do not get me wrong I had a lot of fun in high school and some great friendships, but now I consider myself close to only about one or two people from my high school and one of those has been on the downhill for a while. Personally, I am offended when some of my friends tell me or I hear that they don't like the "new Ty" or "why did I have to change?" Hello, not all change is bad and I feel like change is necessary and if anything I have changed for the better. I think it is selfish for people to ask or tell other people, "don't change" or "never ever change" "we liked who you were in high school and how much fun you were." It is like telling me now that you aren't as much fun and that maybe you've changed but we haven't so what is wrong with you? I know part of this is all my fault that I distanced myself away from my "home" or "roots" but I don't regret that for a second because that is not who I wanted to be forever. Maybe I should've hung out with more people over the years while I was at home, but I didn't because I was worried about how I was perceived or felt like there wasn't much in common between everyone anymore. So, yes I am partly to blame, but should I feel guilty about that and the decisions I made? Like today I had a friend from high school post a message on facebook today for my birthday that said, "Happy Birthday long lost friend!" Okay yes I read way too much into the words long lost friend, but ouch on a couple of levels. I got past that and later left a message on his wall. . . . who knows? This is one of my eternal conflicts about being back in Missouri after I went to KU that first semester because ever since nothing about "home" has ever felt the same. Well, maybe it is the wine. . .

I am reading another interesting book called Tokyo Delayed that I got at Barnes and Noble on Saturday night. Maybe I'll finish it tomorrow and then post a book review for you all.

Wednesday September 27th will be the day that I leave Springfield Missouri and will arrive in Inch'on Korea (very near Seoul) on Thursday September 28th. I am not sure how I am going to get another week though. I have either been sleeping, watching TV, or reading and doing a little bit of volunteering. So, I finally have a departure date!

This is the book I just finished reading in like three days. I have a paperback addition and it looks different. This book was good, highly disturbing, sickening, thrilling, suspensful, and powerful. If you can get past two words coming up in the same sentence in this book like cannobolism and babies then you should be able to read it. It still leaves you feeling pretty sick to your stomach in parts though, but once you realize what is going on you are into the story and can't put it down. Pretty much there are two different stories going on at once, the first in Nanking (Nanjing) in 1937 during the Japanese takeover and massacre and the other is in modern day Tokyo in the year 1990. It is a story about a young British woman who goes to Tokyo to do research about what happened in Nanking in 1937 to prove to herself and everyone that she is not crazy. There are a lot of issues going on with her that develop as this story goes that intertwine with the this Chinese professor she goes to see to see a video from Nanking in 1937. Well, he won't let her see it and says okay but you have to do something else for me. This leads her to working as a hostess in a shady Japanese men's club and leads her to the Japanese mafia I guess. This story is fiction, but in 1937 and throughout the twentith century up until the Japense were defefated in WWII, the Japanese did try and did invade a lot of China and Korea, etc. So, if you are into being disturbed and shook up but in an almost powerful important way then read this book!

Visa Process Information

I woke up this morning and good news was in my hotmail inbox. The school had finally received my visa confirmation number and then passed it on to me. So, today I got the rest of my documents and money order in order to send to the Korea Consulate in Chicago to finally get that visa sticker on the passport. This should take only four to five business days and then it will be overnighted back to me. The school in Korea is going to buy my plane ticket there and then I guess send it, they asked me what airport was the closest to me. I still do not have an official departure date which is driving me a little crazy. I am supposed to call the consulate on Thursday and see how things are going and see when I might have my passport back with the visa. The school told me in their email that the first week of October there might not be school because it is like Korea's Thanksgiving week. I don't know if that means I'll go after that or what. But with the visa and everything, everything should be ready to go sometime middle next week. So technically I am ready for this adventure to begin, thus why can't I leave lets say as soon as next weekend or the last full week of September? Anyway, so maybe I'll get my visa on my birthday, my birthday present this year acceptance to go to Korea, all that I would want on my 21st birthday!

I am also reading a very exciting, weird, suspensful novel right now called The Devil of Nanking. More later on this once I finish it, but let us just say I was a little bit scared last night trying to go to bed.

My 100th Post: Rememberance and Reflection

Tomorrow is 911 the fifth anniversery 0f 9/11/01 and we all know what that is of course. I recently wrote an email to a friend not meaning to talk about 911, but somehow ended up discussing it in a lengthy paragraph. 911 did affect me rather I saw it then or rather I see the big picture of how it changed me now or not. But the fact remains the same I remember that day five years ago like it was yesterday. Some of my thoughts or how I reacted I am not super proud of or would like to admit, but no matter how much I almost consider and would like to consider myself a foreign 911 always reminds me of how American I really am! I remember being in my high school library that first hour of school my senior year like I usually was because it was my independent study of sociology that semester. I remember the two girls in my class, that everyone kind of thought were crazy, who were the library aids that hour came in from the office and were like we heard on the radio in the office about a plane and as building in NY and all of this stuff. I think I thought they lost it and just kept doing my normal stuff. Then the bell rang and I made it to my second hour class, Spanish 4, and the TV was on and we all just sat there and silence. The one tower had smoke coming out of it and all of that and not to long after that we saw the second plane go in and then the buidings started to collapse. We sat there in silence, I was shocked, like we couldn't believe it! It looked like a movie, like this cannot happen to the US, no way. I think I started to tear up and we were scared because for the first time I think most people in the US thought, "yes, it can happen to us." But anyway it happened and then in southwest Missouri even as were watching it things started to almost start to feel like normal in a weird way. But I was scared for a lot of superficial reasons becuase I was turning 18 the next week on September 19, and the next thing that came to my mind was a big war. Oh no, there is going to be World War III and there is going to be a draft and I am going to go and my life is going to be over! No college, no getting married because I'll go to war and die or even if I don't my life will be forever changed. Sad, but I so remember thinking that! And then the rumor started to go around that gas prices were sky rocketing and that gas was in shortage and I didn't have much gas in my car, oh no! I remember thinking what am I going to do and I have to go to work tonight at McDonalds and work in the grill. That day was weird, everyone was somber, no one made us do any work if we didn't want to and we could watch the TV all day if we wanted to. I remember doing that and then going to work that night after maybe a light cross-country practice (I can't remember if we ran or not). I made my dad come to McDonalds and get my car and fill it up with gas, some gas stations got in a lot of trouble that day for taking advantage of the 911 situation. That Thursday that week we found out that we weren't going to the KU cross-country meet anymore because of 911 (where I was planning on going to college) and we were going to run at Joplin instead. Then the next week, a kid in my brother's grade died on my birthday he had an unexpected brain anerism at school one day. I remember going to See You at The Pole the next morning and thinking wow, this is cool all these people came to pray, but it was about the death. I remember taking my brother and three of his friends to the funeral and a lot of people were affected because my high school was only around 500 people, so there went the birthday. And my brother was pretty close to him and his sister was in my grade so those two weeks were pretty rough all over. I think at the time though I was pretty superficial, and brushed a lot of it off, but felt very patriotic and American for a while like a lot of people. I think that was a good summary of the first half of September of 2001 for me in my life as a senior in high school.

Since then. . . I think things have changed since 9/11/01. I graduated from high school, went to KU, and now I have graduated from college and soon to be in Korea to teach English. I think as much as I disagree with American foreign policy and a lot of other things 911 has more meaning to me now maybe. After growing up some and having a greater appreciation for the world and all cultures and my rich experiences, I will always remember 911. I don't know if it is ever going to get easier for this nation to move on and get past it completely, but how horrible! I do not even have tangible first hand pain or sadness from a person I knew from that day, but it is still sad. I remember going to Washington D.C. two months after that in November the week before Thanksgiving for a political leadership conference. My parents almost didn't let me go, but I remember driving by the Pentagon on a bus and still seeing the giant hole in it where the plane hit, it was so eerie. I remember sitting in the capital where the Senate meets and I think a Senator speaking saying you know a plane was headed for here too or something like that. 911 chaged a lot, but I think for me I really haven't seen the full picture until now after everything. Watching the specials, seeing kids growing up without a parent because they died that day all of that, it might not have been as Hurricane Katrina but still a big deal. (do not get me wrong Hurricane Katring was huge and a lot of work still needs to be done, and I fully think we should continue to work on that.) 911 thought. . . I'll always remember!

Well, this post was for me than anyone else. God Bless.

Yesterday I left for Lawrence and came back this morning. You know me, I just take off on trips with little thought or I leave the next day after I decide to go somewhere. I think that this whole lengthy process (which hasn't been to lengthy) to get to Koreas is killing me. But anyway a friend called me on Sunday and was like you should come to Lawrence it is so and so's birthday and she is having a little get together tomorrow afternoon in a park. And then it was also two girls (identical twins) from Saudi Arabia's birthday yesterday night and they had a little party. These girls have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, but that is not the point of this post. In addition, my friend from Costa Rica is been bugging me like when are you going to come up and visit it me before you leave. And you know me going to Lawrence is like going home, and once people find out I am coming it is like a battle to try to see everyone, or plan accordingly. Anyway, so I got to Lawrence yesterday and had lunch with a friend and then we went to another friend's house for a bit to hang out and have dessart. Then I went to the other friend's party in the park and saw a bunch of people there, which was nice. Then I went to pick up my friend from Costa Rica and have dinner with her. That was very nice to catch up on everything, a lot has been happening in her life. I hope things get better for her. Last night was an exception to becuase I didn't speak in Spanish at all we just used English. SHOCKING! Then I went to the Saudi girls' party and had a lot of fun there hanging out and seeing a lot of people. Then I went to my brother's place (brother from my Miami family during Spring Break) to spend the night on his futon. He hooked me up and of course it was good to see him and catch up a little bit. Of course I did not get to see everyone and I feel bad about that, but that is how it goes. I already miss everyone though and maybe will try to go up one more time before I leave the States for a while. I am waiting to hear back any day now with the reservation number to go ahead with the visa process. Well the visa process has already started and with the reservation number it will speed things up considerably and then hopefully I'll have an expected departure date! WOW!