Ups and Downs.
So, this week has felt like riding a roller-coaster in some ways. . . I am not sure if I can really explain it, but I can try by going through a synapsis of the week day by day.
Monday
I had two conversation groups, a one-on-one English tutorial time with a young man from China, and a conversation class with students from Sauida Arabia at a basic English level. And in the middle of all of that I had lunch with my friend from Costa Rica and todo fue en espanol. But I love my job with the Applied English Center and doing what I do with international students. But in my last time slot of the day at 3:00-3:50 is my conversation class with the Saudis. Let me tell you I was tired physically and more importantly my mind was exhausted from all the thinking in language stuff. Well, on top of that it was basic English, slow talking all of those things and in the middle of talking with them I somehow zoned out. I was trying to explain some basic concept and then some others were talking in Arabic at the same time to explain the concept too. Well, somehow in all of this mess my mind said, "No More!" and completely went somewhere else for a second. Like I was all the way out, I had the dazed and confused look on my face, I am sure they thought something went a little cuckoo up there in the head! But at the same time all of my work with international students is very rewarding. . . they all are very friendly and thankful which tends to help you think, "yes maybe I am actually helping them in some small way."
My dad told me on the phone this night that he thinks I am making a mistake by not going to get my masters right away. Which I kind of knew thats how he felt, but if he thought I would change my mind its a little late for that now to go to school somewhere next year. GRRR!
Tuesday
I had practicum of course with my kiddos in the elementary school. The day just flew by because the whole time I was working with the kids, or in some form within direct contact with people. Which is the best in my opinion. . . the paperwork is the part Icould do without sometimes, but its important nonetheless. I had four groups and this week all we did was read a book about telling the truth and talked about it. One of my kids on Tuesday signed his name with a nickname and ended up taking this issue to the principal's office becuase it was kind of gang looking related and we don't tolerate it. The situation with him is kind of sad, because he likes me I can tell but in front of everyone else because of what he has been taught he can't like me. Part of it is because I am not Hispanic. . . which is a racist attitude which he admits to that he is like this sometimes. And he is only in fifth grade! Then my individual time with a kid that I meet with after school in fourth grade brought back the notebook I gave him the week before. The purpose of the notebook is to create a better communication system with the mom since she only knows Spanish and doesn't really say much to me anyway. Well, she did it and I could read it for the most part but her written Spanish is horrible! The grammar, mispelled words and words stuck together thatare not supposed to be like in this sentence, or words that have huge spaces in the mi ddle of them. Why am I not suprised and I just have to look at this as a strength still that the mother is willing to try this with me. I didn't eat lunch on this day.
Tuesday night I went with three of the Japanese students that I know from Kanagawra out to eat. They are a group that is here for a week and actually leave early tomorrow morning. But we went to eat at a Steak place and I ate all of this huge meal and of course they didn't eat all of it. I felt like a pig! Then we went to Best Buy becuase they wanted to go. . . I ended up buying two DVDs; The Constant Gardener, and Spirited Away a Japanese anime movie that is supposed to be good. I have never watched anime in my life. . . so we'll see when I get the time to watch it. It was a good night as usual with them talking and helping them with their English.
After this I called my friend in Massachusetts who called me earlier when I was busy. We talked and he is doing a lot better, which is good to hear but still hates Massachusetts his home state. They (him and my other good friend) are going to probably move back to the area this summer after they get married. We talked about everything in his life, how my life is going. . . talked about my futrure and how I don't know whats going to happen, but I am okay and all of that. Then we talked about the wedding coming up and how I am going to get there and the details and all of that stuff and that was a bit confusing. So needless to say after that conversation I felt very overwhelmed and anxious, but not becuase of him or what he said but what it triggered in me. All of those what if questions and thinking about the future. . . I am still dealing as you can see. And I had to finish a paper that night and it was already like 10:30 for my class at 8 in the morning. That paper was coming up with a group plan to be implemented in a VA setting, but other than that I had to create everything else. It was challenging but I finished it, but not before another person called me in the BSW Student Group. I am a co-director of communications and she is the other co-director to remind me about the meeting on Wednesday night and say that she would be turning in her resignation letter. Well, there is a lot of work this semester as far as that, so I was like great timing and felt even more overwhelmed. Somehow I finished the paper and was not anywhere close to sleeping, but my mind was crazy and done. It seemed like everything was too much and coming at me way too fast! THEN. .. there is an e-mail in my indbox from my teacher in the morning class saying that class is cancelled! Praise God! But she cancelled it because her two year old daughter is really sick with a retrovirus probably and was in and out of the hospital for tests and such. I hope her daughter is doing better now! Then I finally went to bed. . .
Wednesday
Didn't get out of bed until like 10 in the morning and somehow still managed to be late for the 12:30 class. But that morning was such a time for me to think and get things clear and somewhat back to normal and that was amazing! I was also called that morning by an agency that I applied for a case management position in the nearby metro. area to set-up an interview. Its on Monday April 3. Its not exactly my dream job working as a case manager in the foster care system, but I love kids and you have to start somewhere right? Its kind of exciting. . .that this could be the job to get things started and its close by. . . which is practical for now I guess.
My policy class we watched the movie Store Wars about Walmart and its cooperation. I kind of decided that for moral and ethical reasons I am not about to take any job for that company even if its the best job/offer I get. My last class, Ethics was boring as usual I like the teacher but its so late in the day and we all are seniors in our last semester, Hello! Then I went to the meeting and earlier that day my co-director of communication told me to forget the conversation from the night before, Halleluah! God was really helping me out here. . . and that just assured me in more that I need to trust Him and go to Him like I did earlier that morning and then He'll take care of stuff! Amen! That was that day in a nut shell
I also watched The Constant Gardener later that night. . . and let me tell you I liked that movie. It is about Africa, big pharmacetical companies, spying, and murder. It was excellent and is deep and challenges people's mind-sets about Africa, drug companies, political things. Thats the kind of movie I like!
Thursday
Practicum again, and nothing huge or big to talk about really there. They had the Black History Month programs that morning and the kids did well. I cannot take my fourth grade boys group anymore, and its soley becaue two out of the six totally change the dynamics of it in a negative way when they happen to be there! GRRR!
Then later that night I went to a Better Than Ezra concert with some friends. That was fun, but I was tired after that of course from standing on my feet the whole time and couldn't hear much because of the volume.
Friday
This morning I had two conversation classes with a new group of Japanese Students from Meikai University. They were all very nice and talkative and seemed to like me of course. I had fun, and I like Japanese students in general. Then I read the New York Times a bit and went to lunch with a friend. Then had to be back for a conversation group at 1:00 which was kind of fun, we played pictionary today and the other leader is cool but kind of crazy sometimes. I like her, but I don't know sometimes I feel like its just "Its Friday lets half-ass it!" Then I went to a bookstore with the same friend I went to lunch with after that and bought a book called The Heavenly Man, its about the remarkable true story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun. ANd I have to say its really good so far! Then I came back here to pack before I go home in the morning and made my bed and walked the dog. Everyday things that needed to be done.
Then I went to dinner with my conversation partner from China at around 5 and ate a ton. We had a good conversation and really value my close friendship with him in many ways. Then I had to be at a place on campus or very close to campus for the AEC farewell party for the Kanagawra students from Japan. Which made me sad and they were all sad. . . but it was fun too talking and taking pictures with them and watching the slide show. ANd of course good eats, after I ate too much at dinner. Then about 10:00 I went with another Japanese students who attended the party too to go to Nation 2'Nation. We talked about Christianity on the way there which was awesome because I got to share a little about about what my faith is and stuff. She isn't really a Christian yet she doesn't think, but goes to church, the Bible Study, etc.,etc. It was pretty cool, but she is already pretty open about religion and stuff. But I think she needs to hear it from as many Christians as possible. Nation 2'Nation was fun of course, and then I learned how to play Spades later. I left there about midnight. . . oh so late!
And I am going to try to leave in the morning no later than 8 or 8:30 for home for a couple of days until Monday morning.
SO MUCH!
So, this week has felt like riding a roller-coaster in some ways. . . I am not sure if I can really explain it, but I can try by going through a synapsis of the week day by day.
Monday
I had two conversation groups, a one-on-one English tutorial time with a young man from China, and a conversation class with students from Sauida Arabia at a basic English level. And in the middle of all of that I had lunch with my friend from Costa Rica and todo fue en espanol. But I love my job with the Applied English Center and doing what I do with international students. But in my last time slot of the day at 3:00-3:50 is my conversation class with the Saudis. Let me tell you I was tired physically and more importantly my mind was exhausted from all the thinking in language stuff. Well, on top of that it was basic English, slow talking all of those things and in the middle of talking with them I somehow zoned out. I was trying to explain some basic concept and then some others were talking in Arabic at the same time to explain the concept too. Well, somehow in all of this mess my mind said, "No More!" and completely went somewhere else for a second. Like I was all the way out, I had the dazed and confused look on my face, I am sure they thought something went a little cuckoo up there in the head! But at the same time all of my work with international students is very rewarding. . . they all are very friendly and thankful which tends to help you think, "yes maybe I am actually helping them in some small way."
My dad told me on the phone this night that he thinks I am making a mistake by not going to get my masters right away. Which I kind of knew thats how he felt, but if he thought I would change my mind its a little late for that now to go to school somewhere next year. GRRR!
Tuesday
I had practicum of course with my kiddos in the elementary school. The day just flew by because the whole time I was working with the kids, or in some form within direct contact with people. Which is the best in my opinion. . . the paperwork is the part Icould do without sometimes, but its important nonetheless. I had four groups and this week all we did was read a book about telling the truth and talked about it. One of my kids on Tuesday signed his name with a nickname and ended up taking this issue to the principal's office becuase it was kind of gang looking related and we don't tolerate it. The situation with him is kind of sad, because he likes me I can tell but in front of everyone else because of what he has been taught he can't like me. Part of it is because I am not Hispanic. . . which is a racist attitude which he admits to that he is like this sometimes. And he is only in fifth grade! Then my individual time with a kid that I meet with after school in fourth grade brought back the notebook I gave him the week before. The purpose of the notebook is to create a better communication system with the mom since she only knows Spanish and doesn't really say much to me anyway. Well, she did it and I could read it for the most part but her written Spanish is horrible! The grammar, mispelled words and words stuck together thatare not supposed to be like in this sentence, or words that have huge spaces in the mi ddle of them. Why am I not suprised and I just have to look at this as a strength still that the mother is willing to try this with me. I didn't eat lunch on this day.
Tuesday night I went with three of the Japanese students that I know from Kanagawra out to eat. They are a group that is here for a week and actually leave early tomorrow morning. But we went to eat at a Steak place and I ate all of this huge meal and of course they didn't eat all of it. I felt like a pig! Then we went to Best Buy becuase they wanted to go. . . I ended up buying two DVDs; The Constant Gardener, and Spirited Away a Japanese anime movie that is supposed to be good. I have never watched anime in my life. . . so we'll see when I get the time to watch it. It was a good night as usual with them talking and helping them with their English.
After this I called my friend in Massachusetts who called me earlier when I was busy. We talked and he is doing a lot better, which is good to hear but still hates Massachusetts his home state. They (him and my other good friend) are going to probably move back to the area this summer after they get married. We talked about everything in his life, how my life is going. . . talked about my futrure and how I don't know whats going to happen, but I am okay and all of that. Then we talked about the wedding coming up and how I am going to get there and the details and all of that stuff and that was a bit confusing. So needless to say after that conversation I felt very overwhelmed and anxious, but not becuase of him or what he said but what it triggered in me. All of those what if questions and thinking about the future. . . I am still dealing as you can see. And I had to finish a paper that night and it was already like 10:30 for my class at 8 in the morning. That paper was coming up with a group plan to be implemented in a VA setting, but other than that I had to create everything else. It was challenging but I finished it, but not before another person called me in the BSW Student Group. I am a co-director of communications and she is the other co-director to remind me about the meeting on Wednesday night and say that she would be turning in her resignation letter. Well, there is a lot of work this semester as far as that, so I was like great timing and felt even more overwhelmed. Somehow I finished the paper and was not anywhere close to sleeping, but my mind was crazy and done. It seemed like everything was too much and coming at me way too fast! THEN. .. there is an e-mail in my indbox from my teacher in the morning class saying that class is cancelled! Praise God! But she cancelled it because her two year old daughter is really sick with a retrovirus probably and was in and out of the hospital for tests and such. I hope her daughter is doing better now! Then I finally went to bed. . .
Wednesday
Didn't get out of bed until like 10 in the morning and somehow still managed to be late for the 12:30 class. But that morning was such a time for me to think and get things clear and somewhat back to normal and that was amazing! I was also called that morning by an agency that I applied for a case management position in the nearby metro. area to set-up an interview. Its on Monday April 3. Its not exactly my dream job working as a case manager in the foster care system, but I love kids and you have to start somewhere right? Its kind of exciting. . .that this could be the job to get things started and its close by. . . which is practical for now I guess.
My policy class we watched the movie Store Wars about Walmart and its cooperation. I kind of decided that for moral and ethical reasons I am not about to take any job for that company even if its the best job/offer I get. My last class, Ethics was boring as usual I like the teacher but its so late in the day and we all are seniors in our last semester, Hello! Then I went to the meeting and earlier that day my co-director of communication told me to forget the conversation from the night before, Halleluah! God was really helping me out here. . . and that just assured me in more that I need to trust Him and go to Him like I did earlier that morning and then He'll take care of stuff! Amen! That was that day in a nut shell
I also watched The Constant Gardener later that night. . . and let me tell you I liked that movie. It is about Africa, big pharmacetical companies, spying, and murder. It was excellent and is deep and challenges people's mind-sets about Africa, drug companies, political things. Thats the kind of movie I like!
Thursday
Practicum again, and nothing huge or big to talk about really there. They had the Black History Month programs that morning and the kids did well. I cannot take my fourth grade boys group anymore, and its soley becaue two out of the six totally change the dynamics of it in a negative way when they happen to be there! GRRR!
Then later that night I went to a Better Than Ezra concert with some friends. That was fun, but I was tired after that of course from standing on my feet the whole time and couldn't hear much because of the volume.
Friday
This morning I had two conversation classes with a new group of Japanese Students from Meikai University. They were all very nice and talkative and seemed to like me of course. I had fun, and I like Japanese students in general. Then I read the New York Times a bit and went to lunch with a friend. Then had to be back for a conversation group at 1:00 which was kind of fun, we played pictionary today and the other leader is cool but kind of crazy sometimes. I like her, but I don't know sometimes I feel like its just "Its Friday lets half-ass it!" Then I went to a bookstore with the same friend I went to lunch with after that and bought a book called The Heavenly Man, its about the remarkable true story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun. ANd I have to say its really good so far! Then I came back here to pack before I go home in the morning and made my bed and walked the dog. Everyday things that needed to be done.
Then I went to dinner with my conversation partner from China at around 5 and ate a ton. We had a good conversation and really value my close friendship with him in many ways. Then I had to be at a place on campus or very close to campus for the AEC farewell party for the Kanagawra students from Japan. Which made me sad and they were all sad. . . but it was fun too talking and taking pictures with them and watching the slide show. ANd of course good eats, after I ate too much at dinner. Then about 10:00 I went with another Japanese students who attended the party too to go to Nation 2'Nation. We talked about Christianity on the way there which was awesome because I got to share a little about about what my faith is and stuff. She isn't really a Christian yet she doesn't think, but goes to church, the Bible Study, etc.,etc. It was pretty cool, but she is already pretty open about religion and stuff. But I think she needs to hear it from as many Christians as possible. Nation 2'Nation was fun of course, and then I learned how to play Spades later. I left there about midnight. . . oh so late!
And I am going to try to leave in the morning no later than 8 or 8:30 for home for a couple of days until Monday morning.
SO MUCH!
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