Life Update.
Okay, so this week went from one extreme to the other it seemed like. Some of you who have read my previous post know what the one extreme was over and when it was. But I have to say the week got better and better after Monday night. Which is always good. . . and now I don't feel that much hurt or loss over anything at all. Which could be a good sign that yes I am doing the right thing by not saying anything and just being content as friends. If my feelings that I had on Monday were real and that strong maybe I would be majorly depressed by now and had no clue how to live my life without her. Which is probably a good sign and a reality check that maybe I am holding onto an idea and not the real thing, true love anymore. Yes, there will always be a special place in my heart for her. . . but what can I say?
Practicum went well this week. . . I am busier than ever with it but it keeps me going and working on goals with students or whatever it is that needs to get done. This weekend I have to come up with something to do in group for the topic of peer pressure. I am wacking my brain trying to think of what to do!
I am finding more and more and over and over again that God cares and wants the best for me! Rigtht now I am trying to memorize Ephasians. . . I have the last part of chapter 6 pretty much down I think, but now I want to try to get the whole book squared away. Last year I had the whole first chapter down, but I have to rememorize it. I want God's words imprinted in me which is good, but also something else to have in there to maybe help me control all the other junk thats swinging around in my mind. Then at he ministry I go to on Thursday night they were finishing up the series Sexual Revolution which was good. But Thursday the issue was dating and marraige, but in a good way. It wasn't like this is how all Christians should do it and if they don't do it this way then well we condemn you. The guy started off with you know how he doesn't know where everyone is as far as their journey, but he said, "some of you in your lives right now need to be praying for God to bring your future spouse to you." I looked at the person beside me and waws like "no way" I am not ready for that. For some reason I haven't got that out of my head and am thinking through it and see what I am supposed to get out of that sentence that I can't dismiss. Then he talked about the idea about how many Christians pray for God to prepare their future spouse for them and protect them so fourth until the proper time. Which is all good and everything, but shouldn't we be saying to God "prepare me and help me to protect my heart to be the future husband and dad I am going to be someday." This blew me away, but it is good and makes sense.. . . yes God we want you to prepare us to be worthy as a husband or wife and not you make a person worthy to be with us! He also talked about that if we are truly and totally following God then we shouldn't be looking for our spouse. God knows who it will be and if we focus on Him and work on our current relationships with believers God's going to take care of us. Who are we to say, "Hey God we love you and trust you with everything, but then say but in this area of my life I will find the person for me!"? I mean if you think of it like that what kind of thinking is that to tell God one thing and then do another. . . but how true is that for everyone of us in some aspect of our lives. That we say, "God you take control, except for this becaue I know better for me!" And we hear this so many times, but really this is our reality as humans always wanting to have control of something or someone.
Tonight I went to Nation 2' Nation and I took Alfajors Havanna in a box for people because I think they are too sweet. I saved two for me, but I took them tonight and people loved them. Esepecially the Latinos, a couple from Bolivia was like where did you get this? These are the best! My dad gave them to me he got them from his business partners from Argentina. But anyway Nation 2'Nation is fun because its international students and we eat good food and usually play games and talk. I had fun. . . but my Spanish stunk even my English. I was trying to talk the Bolivian couple and I couldn't talk or talk that well. Next week I would like to impress them and just use Spanish. It was a bit frustrating tonight, but there is always next week another day! Tonight I was pretty tired and my mind is a little bit sapped from this week and conversation groups and classes all day today trying to help students with English. Especially when it is basic English with Japanese students who are here for three weeks. Its fun, but my mind like shuts down after a while even in English, but I love it! Its crazy but I get language fatigue in English just from using all my resources to try to explain something or concentrating on it for so long. Listening is also a key because you have to be able to hear well to understand people. A Korean girl told me tonight that I talk like an "English teacher" that was a nice compliment. I think that a lot of international students think this too, but my English is really not that great. . . its funny that international students can understand me so much better than Americans. But I know why. . . I guess its good and I have no problems telling people this is how I talk so get used to it so you can understand me just don't make fun of me or act like I have a problem (which I have gotten from Americans before).
Tomorrow I am going with some international students all day to the Tallgrass Prarie Park to hike. I get to drive a van on a two hour trip each way. . . looking forward to it, but no it will be fun. The Japanese students love me. . . The French. . . well where to start with them, but they are nice too.
Okay, so this week went from one extreme to the other it seemed like. Some of you who have read my previous post know what the one extreme was over and when it was. But I have to say the week got better and better after Monday night. Which is always good. . . and now I don't feel that much hurt or loss over anything at all. Which could be a good sign that yes I am doing the right thing by not saying anything and just being content as friends. If my feelings that I had on Monday were real and that strong maybe I would be majorly depressed by now and had no clue how to live my life without her. Which is probably a good sign and a reality check that maybe I am holding onto an idea and not the real thing, true love anymore. Yes, there will always be a special place in my heart for her. . . but what can I say?
Practicum went well this week. . . I am busier than ever with it but it keeps me going and working on goals with students or whatever it is that needs to get done. This weekend I have to come up with something to do in group for the topic of peer pressure. I am wacking my brain trying to think of what to do!
I am finding more and more and over and over again that God cares and wants the best for me! Rigtht now I am trying to memorize Ephasians. . . I have the last part of chapter 6 pretty much down I think, but now I want to try to get the whole book squared away. Last year I had the whole first chapter down, but I have to rememorize it. I want God's words imprinted in me which is good, but also something else to have in there to maybe help me control all the other junk thats swinging around in my mind. Then at he ministry I go to on Thursday night they were finishing up the series Sexual Revolution which was good. But Thursday the issue was dating and marraige, but in a good way. It wasn't like this is how all Christians should do it and if they don't do it this way then well we condemn you. The guy started off with you know how he doesn't know where everyone is as far as their journey, but he said, "some of you in your lives right now need to be praying for God to bring your future spouse to you." I looked at the person beside me and waws like "no way" I am not ready for that. For some reason I haven't got that out of my head and am thinking through it and see what I am supposed to get out of that sentence that I can't dismiss. Then he talked about the idea about how many Christians pray for God to prepare their future spouse for them and protect them so fourth until the proper time. Which is all good and everything, but shouldn't we be saying to God "prepare me and help me to protect my heart to be the future husband and dad I am going to be someday." This blew me away, but it is good and makes sense.. . . yes God we want you to prepare us to be worthy as a husband or wife and not you make a person worthy to be with us! He also talked about that if we are truly and totally following God then we shouldn't be looking for our spouse. God knows who it will be and if we focus on Him and work on our current relationships with believers God's going to take care of us. Who are we to say, "Hey God we love you and trust you with everything, but then say but in this area of my life I will find the person for me!"? I mean if you think of it like that what kind of thinking is that to tell God one thing and then do another. . . but how true is that for everyone of us in some aspect of our lives. That we say, "God you take control, except for this becaue I know better for me!" And we hear this so many times, but really this is our reality as humans always wanting to have control of something or someone.
Tonight I went to Nation 2' Nation and I took Alfajors Havanna in a box for people because I think they are too sweet. I saved two for me, but I took them tonight and people loved them. Esepecially the Latinos, a couple from Bolivia was like where did you get this? These are the best! My dad gave them to me he got them from his business partners from Argentina. But anyway Nation 2'Nation is fun because its international students and we eat good food and usually play games and talk. I had fun. . . but my Spanish stunk even my English. I was trying to talk the Bolivian couple and I couldn't talk or talk that well. Next week I would like to impress them and just use Spanish. It was a bit frustrating tonight, but there is always next week another day! Tonight I was pretty tired and my mind is a little bit sapped from this week and conversation groups and classes all day today trying to help students with English. Especially when it is basic English with Japanese students who are here for three weeks. Its fun, but my mind like shuts down after a while even in English, but I love it! Its crazy but I get language fatigue in English just from using all my resources to try to explain something or concentrating on it for so long. Listening is also a key because you have to be able to hear well to understand people. A Korean girl told me tonight that I talk like an "English teacher" that was a nice compliment. I think that a lot of international students think this too, but my English is really not that great. . . its funny that international students can understand me so much better than Americans. But I know why. . . I guess its good and I have no problems telling people this is how I talk so get used to it so you can understand me just don't make fun of me or act like I have a problem (which I have gotten from Americans before).
Tomorrow I am going with some international students all day to the Tallgrass Prarie Park to hike. I get to drive a van on a two hour trip each way. . . looking forward to it, but no it will be fun. The Japanese students love me. . . The French. . . well where to start with them, but they are nice too.
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