Blogging will always be there.
Its no secret I love to blog and write about my life. . . so when I am not blogging I am usually journaling those days or doing both. Its like one of those things that helps me process my thoughts, get my feelings out, it is always there for me journaling or blogging and it is great! Blogging is in particulary fun in some ways because I can get comments, feedback, encouragement, questions, etc. from people about my post.
So, this week wind down (the highlights). . .
Sunday - went to a small group meeting that I am going to be in as part of the ministry I am involved in now. There were only 3 of us me and the two leaders. We prayed for like forty-five minutes it was awesome! I feel like I am going to have some real close friends with the guys, so thats awesome.
Tuesday - my small group decided to buy a cake and flowers and go over to a house of girls that are in the ministry and bless them on Valentine's morning. That worked out pretty cool, we got dressed up and ended up waking them all up except one slept through it. But hey we got pancakes out of the deal. Then I had practicum that day. In Lawrence later that afternoon though I went to Dillions to mail some stuff because I had to buy stamps. Well some guy backed into my car as I was exciting the parking lot. There isn't really any damage except marks on my car but I still got his information and its going to have to be fixed. Shucks!
Wednesday - Social Work Student Legislation Day in Topeka - I never want to go back to Topeka ever again! It scares me and the day was a waste of time - except for my group was good company and we ate at Olive Garden for lunch. Went to coffee/dinner with three Japanese students who wanted to hang out with me. THey are only here for a month and their English is basic, but it was fun we talked I wrote words down that sort of thing. They are very nice people! This helps me to see that my work with international students is not a total waste. That my passions do line up with how God uses me and sees maybe as strenghts the ability to communicate and help students learn English better.
Thursday - I had practicum. . . and that went okay. I care about those kids so much. . . and have to keep telling myself that God is using me there. I might not feel like I am being supported fully by the teachers and my field instructor. But I am being used there with those kids rather I see it or not and I am making a difference. Its just something I have to get through but this mind-set has changed my outlook a lot. Even if I don't feel like I am valued by others and the kids give me all the crap in the world. . .God has me there for a reason and is using me. This makes all the difference in the world for me!
Yep, it is my last semester of college, or at least for now and I am okay with that I guess. But I really don't want to leave yet. . .like I am okay with my future now because I know God is going to take care of me. That isn't the source of stress anymore its more of facing the facts that this is it for college! I am ready for the future whatever that may be, but I don't know how else to say but I am almost starting to go through feelings of loss that this part of my life is ending. I hope you see the difference between being okay with the future and ready for that now and not being stressed. To now almost feeling sad about finally reaching this healthy place.
By the way it started to turn bitterly cold again here on Thursday. Tonight its like 5 degrees outside with a wind chill of -13 F. Its freezing. . .kind of miserable. It makes me tired and not really interested in doing anything. I hate being cold and cold weather. . . I want to live in a nice Sunny temperate place all year around.
I went to Nation 2' Nation tonight. . . and that was okay. I always meet new and interesting people/students to talk to from all over the place. I feel connected at Nation 2 Nation, Midwest Ministries and Morning Star Church. I like them a lot, but I am constantly finding out since Guatemala I guess I realized it how long it takes to meet people and develop close friendships. I feel like I know a lot of people, but still I am not super close to anyone. The small group is going to help a lot. I am learning a lot about myself through all of this. . . that I need to trust God that much more with everything and rely on Him. But for example I don't know when it started hanging out with international students but I like physical contact with people. Be it a kiss on the cheek or both cheeks when you greet a woman, a handshake and a pat with a guy when you see him, more hugs from people, I don't know but I like that. I think all humans need to be touched, but for some reason that part of me has changed since being in college. Okay, so physical touch has nothing to do with what I was talking about with friendships, sorry! God is going to bless me in some amazing ways this semester I can feel it and am confident of this! It just takes time, prayer, and patience.
I think I am going to stop for now. . . besides this not a lot is new with me. I try to balance my blog as much as possible between events and whats happening and my own posts that are purely feelings mostly. I hope like this post for example has provided you with both and has given you a REAL glimpse into my life right now. That is as real as I can get or chose to express here.
Buenas Noches!
So, this week wind down (the highlights). . .
Sunday - went to a small group meeting that I am going to be in as part of the ministry I am involved in now. There were only 3 of us me and the two leaders. We prayed for like forty-five minutes it was awesome! I feel like I am going to have some real close friends with the guys, so thats awesome.
Tuesday - my small group decided to buy a cake and flowers and go over to a house of girls that are in the ministry and bless them on Valentine's morning. That worked out pretty cool, we got dressed up and ended up waking them all up except one slept through it. But hey we got pancakes out of the deal. Then I had practicum that day. In Lawrence later that afternoon though I went to Dillions to mail some stuff because I had to buy stamps. Well some guy backed into my car as I was exciting the parking lot. There isn't really any damage except marks on my car but I still got his information and its going to have to be fixed. Shucks!
Wednesday - Social Work Student Legislation Day in Topeka - I never want to go back to Topeka ever again! It scares me and the day was a waste of time - except for my group was good company and we ate at Olive Garden for lunch. Went to coffee/dinner with three Japanese students who wanted to hang out with me. THey are only here for a month and their English is basic, but it was fun we talked I wrote words down that sort of thing. They are very nice people! This helps me to see that my work with international students is not a total waste. That my passions do line up with how God uses me and sees maybe as strenghts the ability to communicate and help students learn English better.
Thursday - I had practicum. . . and that went okay. I care about those kids so much. . . and have to keep telling myself that God is using me there. I might not feel like I am being supported fully by the teachers and my field instructor. But I am being used there with those kids rather I see it or not and I am making a difference. Its just something I have to get through but this mind-set has changed my outlook a lot. Even if I don't feel like I am valued by others and the kids give me all the crap in the world. . .God has me there for a reason and is using me. This makes all the difference in the world for me!
Yep, it is my last semester of college, or at least for now and I am okay with that I guess. But I really don't want to leave yet. . .like I am okay with my future now because I know God is going to take care of me. That isn't the source of stress anymore its more of facing the facts that this is it for college! I am ready for the future whatever that may be, but I don't know how else to say but I am almost starting to go through feelings of loss that this part of my life is ending. I hope you see the difference between being okay with the future and ready for that now and not being stressed. To now almost feeling sad about finally reaching this healthy place.
By the way it started to turn bitterly cold again here on Thursday. Tonight its like 5 degrees outside with a wind chill of -13 F. Its freezing. . .kind of miserable. It makes me tired and not really interested in doing anything. I hate being cold and cold weather. . . I want to live in a nice Sunny temperate place all year around.
I went to Nation 2' Nation tonight. . . and that was okay. I always meet new and interesting people/students to talk to from all over the place. I feel connected at Nation 2 Nation, Midwest Ministries and Morning Star Church. I like them a lot, but I am constantly finding out since Guatemala I guess I realized it how long it takes to meet people and develop close friendships. I feel like I know a lot of people, but still I am not super close to anyone. The small group is going to help a lot. I am learning a lot about myself through all of this. . . that I need to trust God that much more with everything and rely on Him. But for example I don't know when it started hanging out with international students but I like physical contact with people. Be it a kiss on the cheek or both cheeks when you greet a woman, a handshake and a pat with a guy when you see him, more hugs from people, I don't know but I like that. I think all humans need to be touched, but for some reason that part of me has changed since being in college. Okay, so physical touch has nothing to do with what I was talking about with friendships, sorry! God is going to bless me in some amazing ways this semester I can feel it and am confident of this! It just takes time, prayer, and patience.
I think I am going to stop for now. . . besides this not a lot is new with me. I try to balance my blog as much as possible between events and whats happening and my own posts that are purely feelings mostly. I hope like this post for example has provided you with both and has given you a REAL glimpse into my life right now. That is as real as I can get or chose to express here.
Buenas Noches!
2 comments:
physical contact is definitely a part of friendship. I remeber being hugged for the first time after my first two months as a freshman... oh gosh, I cried! I think I didn't realize how long I had gone without physical affection until April hugged me that day, and it just felt so, so warm and fuzzy! I think the American culture is learning the value of this side of friendships : ) ..es maravilloso!
She can be cool like that!
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