That was beautiful man. . .
I just wanted to write after my friend, Quijote posted in his blog a beautiful inspiring post. Okay, really don't take me too seriously here okay, but the story in there was just so vivid and original, it blew me away!
I am glad he is content and ready to start his next semester of grad school! That makes me happy to know that my friends and family are happy and okay with life. I on the other hand am still trying to figure out what the crap is going on and will happen in my life! I am pretty much to the crossroads, a major milestone if you would like to call it that of graduating from college in May with an undergraduate degree in social work. I know many of you are thinking I hope he didn't go into that thinking he was going to be one rich dude who helps people. I mean you are right about wanting to help people and all of that, but the money thing. . . I know. And some of you who read this might think to yourself, "hey hombre guapo comes from an upper class background doesn't he? His parents have money, he'll be fine for the rest of his life because the parents will always help him." Personally at times I resent and hate this aspect of knowing this that makes me who I am and at other times I am like its a nice safety net. Part of me wants to completely be independent of my parents and not to have to need them. To show that you can live life and be happy without a lot of money or fancy material possessions. But then another part is like look at yourself, you like nice stuff, you have nice stuff. Is that going to change because I want it to or because it will have to? I cannot change how I was brought up and how that affects my taste from food, to clothes, to whatever else I prefer. There are a lot of other issues that accompany my relationship to my immediate family that I care not to get into here, but some of it stems from this.
The job search or being any closer to where I am going to be or doing after graduation has gone really no where as of now. I am trying to stay optimistic there is time. . .and once I do get hired somewhere I have a lot to offer and am a hard worker so I am going to be a great wherever I am. But at the same time I am like the clock is ticking and I don't want to move in with my parents ever again. . .that might cause depression and suicidal thoughts. No not really I love my parents and they love me, but at the same time I was somewhat serious. If I don't get a job right away I want to be either traveling the world somewhere have deep life discoveries about the world and who I am or working somewhere full time (may be it Target) and living independently.
So, I've been back up here at school since last week because thats when practicum started. I am definately more optimistic and ready to go this semester than the last one. My field instructor is actually doing better at helping me and the other student. Our goal is to think of good topics for group, be organized, and to make a difference in these kids lives. We feel like we have a great chance to do this through grop and takling issues such as race, fighting, forgiveness, what a normal kid is (there isn't a normal) that sort of stuff, but keeping it upbeat. You know I got to do it and will get through it at times, but have to keep in mind that I could be helping kids to make good choices and feel better about themselves too!
I think I'll end on that positive point!
I just wanted to write after my friend, Quijote posted in his blog a beautiful inspiring post. Okay, really don't take me too seriously here okay, but the story in there was just so vivid and original, it blew me away!
I am glad he is content and ready to start his next semester of grad school! That makes me happy to know that my friends and family are happy and okay with life. I on the other hand am still trying to figure out what the crap is going on and will happen in my life! I am pretty much to the crossroads, a major milestone if you would like to call it that of graduating from college in May with an undergraduate degree in social work. I know many of you are thinking I hope he didn't go into that thinking he was going to be one rich dude who helps people. I mean you are right about wanting to help people and all of that, but the money thing. . . I know. And some of you who read this might think to yourself, "hey hombre guapo comes from an upper class background doesn't he? His parents have money, he'll be fine for the rest of his life because the parents will always help him." Personally at times I resent and hate this aspect of knowing this that makes me who I am and at other times I am like its a nice safety net. Part of me wants to completely be independent of my parents and not to have to need them. To show that you can live life and be happy without a lot of money or fancy material possessions. But then another part is like look at yourself, you like nice stuff, you have nice stuff. Is that going to change because I want it to or because it will have to? I cannot change how I was brought up and how that affects my taste from food, to clothes, to whatever else I prefer. There are a lot of other issues that accompany my relationship to my immediate family that I care not to get into here, but some of it stems from this.
The job search or being any closer to where I am going to be or doing after graduation has gone really no where as of now. I am trying to stay optimistic there is time. . .and once I do get hired somewhere I have a lot to offer and am a hard worker so I am going to be a great wherever I am. But at the same time I am like the clock is ticking and I don't want to move in with my parents ever again. . .that might cause depression and suicidal thoughts. No not really I love my parents and they love me, but at the same time I was somewhat serious. If I don't get a job right away I want to be either traveling the world somewhere have deep life discoveries about the world and who I am or working somewhere full time (may be it Target) and living independently.
So, I've been back up here at school since last week because thats when practicum started. I am definately more optimistic and ready to go this semester than the last one. My field instructor is actually doing better at helping me and the other student. Our goal is to think of good topics for group, be organized, and to make a difference in these kids lives. We feel like we have a great chance to do this through grop and takling issues such as race, fighting, forgiveness, what a normal kid is (there isn't a normal) that sort of stuff, but keeping it upbeat. You know I got to do it and will get through it at times, but have to keep in mind that I could be helping kids to make good choices and feel better about themselves too!
I think I'll end on that positive point!
3 comments:
Happy New Year!! My best wishes for you... and yeah, I know.. 2006 does seem a little futuristic : ) Gives me a nice fuzzy feeling, for some reason. God Bless!
Whatever you decide to do and wherever you go, GOd will bless you. All I can tell you is that it gets better. I've been there (not knowing where you are, not wanting to be tied to your parents, but wanting to be comftorable, etc. etc. etc.), and I will probably be there again when I graduate from SMU (really I've just postponed the inevitable). Whether you get a job, travel, join the circus, or anything, you will do well. Just keep you options and your mind open, and God will open up doors for you. Probably in places you least expect. It was good seeing you in KC. Sorry I was so out of it... that was a long drive... :P
Thanks a lot for your message! Its funny how friends far away can encourage me through my blog, haha! That sounds funny and dorky, but oh well.
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