My Job.

I worry so much about my job and the job that I am doing. I have skipped dinner time for the past two nights (Thursday and Friday) and probably will next Tuesday again to work on report cards on the computer that are due on Thursday before I go to Taiwan. I have only ate like snack food and not a lot because I am so worried about getting everything done and doing a good job.

You can imagine my horror today then when the main Korean teacher told me about half way through the day that some mom had called Charlie (my boss) today to say that I through a pencil case at her son yesterday in class. He is in the class from hell today, the ones that all hate me that I get very frustrated at all the time. Maybe I dropped the pencil case too hard on the table or something, but I would never throw something at a kid(I am sorry - I never ever would do that even if I wanted to deep down inside.) The Korean teacher told me not to worry and that I was not in trouble because Charlie trusts me and stuff, which is good. Then right before that class in my other class Charlie came in and told me this and was like just don't throw anything down hard anymore. It will be just my luck that more kids will drop out because of me. And during the ten minute break right before that class those kids saw me that already hate me and were showing their disgust to me in front of everyone in very obviousu ways. Fortunately, I survived that next class though and I am trying so hard in this job. I am trying so so so hard and feel like I am getting better and doing well, and then something l ike this happens. Everyone seems to pass this off like no big deal, but I stress so much about it!

Also, tonight at the very end I learned I have to work two hours tomorrow from about 12 -2 with the high school girl that I tutor one on one. Charlie asked me tonight if I could do next Saturday. I was like I'll be in Taiwan on vacation during the holiday and he was like when do you leave. I said on Friday, and he was like "so you no teach on Friday?" I was like "what?" I thought we had the day off, and he told me "don't worry, its okay." I asked the main Korean teacher about this and apparently their is a little party with the kids next Friday and Charlie probably expected me to be there. Everyone says, don't worry but just another thing that I thought was all settled and okay since the main Korean teacher helped me plan the trip and now I know that Friday was a day I was supposed to be at academy.

I am trying so hard, and I worry so much about this job. . . maybe I am not meant to be a teacher. I don't know. . .

Tonight I met a friend and another friend and did some drinking, but this job! I don't know what to do anymore.