A Merry Christmas??
I wish I could say that it was a Merry Christmas, but there are several reasons why this might be the lowest Christmas yet. . .
First, today my wife went to go get her TB test read for the government for yet again another stupid step in the process of getting her permanent citizen visa. Well, she tested positive and has to get a chest X-ray, okay fine but the only problem is that the clinic where we can get it for free is closed till next week. We can't afford to pay over $100 for a chest X-ray somewhere else or have the time to wait about a week for it to get the results read and everything else. Yeah, I didn't plan enough time because this whole part is due on December 30th. Well, I called the INS people and they told me it is better to send what we got by the 30th instead of wait for it all to be in because they might drop the case. I am going to write a letter, but dear God in heaven, have to pray, they surely won't deny us after all this time and all the precious money spent over not having the chest X-ray in and everything to do with the TB test. Everyone pray extra hard for that.
Second, the financial situation is pretty bleak. . . there isn't much of a Christmas under the tree if you know what I mean. A couple of gifts for the baby, something for my wife, and some cards to people. Trying to keep up with the bills without my bank account going in the minus is hard too, but I should plan better. It is hard even now that I am making a bit more money with my new job. It really is sad, but hopefully after we get some of the bills paid off, the start of next year and in 2010 we will be able to save a little bit. . . I hope! I always didn't really care for rich people and big houses and all of that even though that is what I grew up most of my life in, and I still don't. However, I wish we had just a little more to get by on because I hate worrying about it and in turn it causes stress and unnecessary tension between people. I really hate money and all it stands for in this world, really and that is the truth! Even when I was in Korea and I had a lot more money and did pretty well, I didn't want to flant it or walk around like a rich person.
Finally, my father left about a week before Thanksgiving on a business trip and never came back. Yeah, great and my mom and him are divorcing after more than 30 years of marriage, my mother is very sad. This only adds to the financial difficulties, and my father wants me to always send him pictures of his granddaughter. My mother says to forgive him, but I have no desire to anytime soon.
I am really trying to stay optimistic about everything and not let myself get down because a lot of people around me are pretty down. I have to stay positive because if not then what would happen?? It would be scary to think about, it is really tough but I got to keep going.
