A Merry Christmas??

I wish I could say that it was a Merry Christmas, but there are several reasons why this might be the lowest Christmas yet. . .

First, today my wife went to go get her TB test read for the government for yet again another stupid step in the process of getting her permanent citizen visa. Well, she tested positive and has to get a chest X-ray, okay fine but the only problem is that the clinic where we can get it for free is closed till next week. We can't afford to pay over $100 for a chest X-ray somewhere else or have the time to wait about a week for it to get the results read and everything else. Yeah, I didn't plan enough time because this whole part is due on December 30th. Well, I called the INS people and they told me it is better to send what we got by the 30th instead of wait for it all to be in because they might drop the case. I am going to write a letter, but dear God in heaven, have to pray, they surely won't deny us after all this time and all the precious money spent over not having the chest X-ray in and everything to do with the TB test. Everyone pray extra hard for that.

Second, the financial situation is pretty bleak. . . there isn't much of a Christmas under the tree if you know what I mean. A couple of gifts for the baby, something for my wife, and some cards to people. Trying to keep up with the bills without my bank account going in the minus is hard too, but I should plan better. It is hard even now that I am making a bit more money with my new job. It really is sad, but hopefully after we get some of the bills paid off, the start of next year and in 2010 we will be able to save a little bit. . . I hope! I always didn't really care for rich people and big houses and all of that even though that is what I grew up most of my life in, and I still don't. However, I wish we had just a little more to get by on because I hate worrying about it and in turn it causes stress and unnecessary tension between people. I really hate money and all it stands for in this world, really and that is the truth! Even when I was in Korea and I had a lot more money and did pretty well, I didn't want to flant it or walk around like a rich person.

Finally, my father left about a week before Thanksgiving on a business trip and never came back. Yeah, great and my mom and him are divorcing after more than 30 years of marriage, my mother is very sad. This only adds to the financial difficulties, and my father wants me to always send him pictures of his granddaughter. My mother says to forgive him, but I have no desire to anytime soon.

I am really trying to stay optimistic about everything and not let myself get down because a lot of people around me are pretty down. I have to stay positive because if not then what would happen?? It would be scary to think about, it is really tough but I got to keep going.

우리 예나, Our Daughter is 13 weeks old today!! Isn't this picture just precious, it was taken on Monday. She is getting so big. . . she is sleeping right now that is why I can do this post. Mommy is sleeping in the other room.

Being a daddy is great, just wish I wasn't so busy with so many other things. Our daughter is getting better for the most part about sleeping, but this week we have becn having some problems. We are trying to stop using the gas drops, so that might've had something to do with it.

Just now, when she isn't sleeping, eating or crying. . . she likes to play more and more. She has some toys that she really likes one is like an oversized play keychain that makes car noises when you press buttons. She really likes the noises another toy is a traflic light that lights up, she likes the light! Another one is a black and white cow with green, blue, and red rattles on it that she just loves. Finally a butterfly that has a chime with it when you move it. She just loves to kick her legs, smile and sometimes laugh and stick out her tongue. It is very cute!

I think she is going to wake up soon, so I should wrap it up.

Good Night!

Am I Crazy??

This might be a relevant question these days because I often consider it

Here I am today studying for Introduction to Linguistics mid-term that is tonight and I haven't really studied much since today. For reasons, like not having time because I work full-time, have a baby, etc. . . I know it is hard to imagine why I wouldn't have tons of free time. haha! But seriously, what was I thinking when I thought sure I can do it all and not feel any kind of stress. I mean linguistics is like learning English as a Foreign language, seriously! Don't get me wrong, it is all interesting and definitely what I like, but sometimes my head just hurts.

Oh, by the way I also got a new job that I will be starting November 2nd. I will be a Community Support Worker working with people with severe and persistent mental illnesses. It is a job that requires a bachelor's degree in social work, and lucky for me that is what I went to school for back in the day! I will be making more money and the schedule is more normal. It should be all kinds of interesting and I will probably have some stories later.

Our baby will be seven weeks old on Friday!! Sometimes, I feel like we are getting better at the whole parent thing and then other times it is like, "What happened?!" It really takes a toll sometimes with not sleeping a lot, the stress from your daughter crying or being fussy, and not really having much time just your wife and you. I hear it will continue to get better, but it does create stress at times and sometimes pointless fights aris. (That don't seem so pointless at the time, by the way.) Having a baby is amazing thing and we love our daughter so much, but it is like working another full-time job or part-time job depending on how much you are at home. And your employer wants you to keep crazy hours and isn't exactly always clear on the communication factor! But when everything is going well, it feels very rewarding and you are so happy that you got the job! (As you can see there are a lot of ups and downs. . . that I hope level out sooner than later!)

Oh, I could go on about a lot more, but I will try to keep my sanity and remember to read the Bible and pray because it does help!

So, I just sent out a very honest email out yesterday?? about life after becoming parents. I know it sounded kind of rough with the lack of sleep, in losing 10 lbs this month, and everything else, but it is okay. I had a good friend from high school email me shortly after (1 of only 2 people - I guess nobody knew how to respond to that one) and she simply said just pray. Well, I prayed and not too long after that I felt a little bit more at peace and better and things have been getting a little better already. I have to pray more because in the business in the last month or so, I haven't really spent too much time with God.

Our baby is a month old today!!

In other news, this weekend was Korea's Thanksgiving, 추석 (Chuseok) and some ladies from our church came over last night and brought us some food. It really made me miss Korea and all the delicious food that we would be eating there. Things sure are a lot different than they were at this time last year!!

Today I just thought I would share some personal insight after having our baby daughter. She will be a week old tomorrow!!

First, you may think that breastfeeding is supposed to be some natural wonderful easy thing to do. Wrong! It can actually be rather difficult and challenging, enough said.

Second, it is never fun having to go to the hospital and having to watch your newborn baby get blood taken. We had to for two days in a row to check her jaundice level, thank God it has gone down. We don't have to do that again at least right now. But yes, you and your wife will cry too when your baby is screaming and crying nonstop while they are trying to squeeze blood out of her heel.

Third, forget being able to leave on time or get anywhere on time to anything. We had a doctor's appointment at 11:45, we didn't get there till almost 12.

Fourth, when newborns aren't sleeping they usually are hungry and want to eat. They might need their diaper changed, and if you are our baby you hate getting your diaper changed.

Yes, the father is important and I get to hold my baby a lot and so fourth, but all she really knows is mom at this point because that is where the food is. We are very happy and we are fortunate to have a generally happy newborn that doesn't cry too much yet. But when she does, you can feel a little overwhelmed and stressed very fast!

We are doing well (I think)!

A Baby Girl Has Been Born

Yes, our baby daugter was born this morning at 10Am, 13 days before our due date. It was a little surprising to have her this early, but it was truly a miracle and I can't describe to you what that is like. We are exhausted from 13 hours of hard labor, but the baby and my wife are doing well!!

Wow, I am a father now!

After reading several blog updates just now I thought I would update as well. ^^

Our little baby daughter will be coming soon!! We are into our 38th week now and anytime would be okay if we suddenly go into labor. I hope she doesn't in the next few days though, I really want a September baby. But keep in mind the due date is September 17th, so still a ways to go. Everyone is doing well considering, just uncomfortable and ready for the show to get on the road. We can't wait to meet our baby !~

Finally, sadly after everything we finally sent in the last requested paperwork for my wife's green card application. We will probably have to go on for an interview later, but hopefully we are almost finished and should be. Everything should be done at this point. . . keep praying!

Other than that, I started school on this last Monday. I really enjoy and find all my classes fascinating and interesting about linguistics and the study of language. Hopefully, I can get a job later teaching English because that is what I want to do.

As always, keep praying for everything and know that you all are in our prayers too!

The Current State of Things

(this title might be a little too serious for this post,but oh well. . . )



Well, the current state of things is that my wife is still pregnant, which is a good thing! She shouldn't have had the baby yet, but as of Thursday we just finished the 32nd week, and now we are in the 33rd week! It is getting so close. . . we start labor classes next week at the hospital. The baby is great, she moves so much, it really makes me wife not sleep and feel really uncomfortable sometimes. The important thing is that everyone is healthy!
I can't wait because I have to say I haven't had the easiest time with this whole time and seriously have my doubts of making another baby in the future. But my wife, is Korean, and says we should later so our daughter won't be lonely. However, not for a while. . .



I will start taking grad school classes next month at the University here for TESOL. I will probably decide sometime this semester if I am going to go for my full masters or just get the certificate, but I am starting to lean for the full masters. It seems that all my friends are getting masters in Ph.Ds and my wife has a Ph.D so I should at least get a masters. haha! Actually, those reasons aren't really that important, it is for my future and career. I have to do better than right now, I can't go much lower. I am still a little amazed/disappointed at how much things changed in the last year. In Korea, I had a good job that was respected and very good pay with benefits, but long hours to now where we live with my parents, I have a low job. Sorry, the self-pity part of this post will stop here!

We are kind of starting a new venture though, but we don't know. Just seeing if we get much response and have to get the word out more. People have already been giving me advice about it, about what we should have done differently or what what things to use and say. Personally, that is great, but I just want to see if what we have now gets some attention and people use it (as long as we get the word out a bit more.) I know it could be a lot bigger and better, but just now let's wait and see. . . I don't need all the advice yet about how I should be doing it. If you have no idea what I am talking about that is okay, but I can tell you. I just don't want this blog to turn into something other than what it is, kind of a journal of me.

That's all!

Happy Father's Day to all the dads and soon to be dads! (Which is me too, kind of funny that I picked this day to blog.) Anyway, our little baby is doing well and on next Thursday will be the official seven month marker. She is definitely starting to show and I am pretty sure it is getting uncomfortable, but it is okay. Our baby is still very active moving a lot and we talk and read books to her a lot in English and in Korean. ^^

Other than that still working at the hospital and I will start taking graduate classes in the fall for TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) at the university here in town. I will be busy!

Just now, things aren't too complicated yet just preparing for the baby and going through everything in the house. We are switching rooms from the guest bedroom to my old room and the baby's room will be right next to it in my brother's old room. So, there has been a lot of moving, donating things, organizing stuff, etc.
We also have a small garden on the deck; a green pepper plant, a red pepper plant, and three tomato plants. Everything is going well and so far the vegetables have been very delicious!

At night we have been watching Korean dramas which are always intense, exciting, and emotional at the same time. I think they would catch on here and people would be addicted to them. We often argue with each other about them about Korean culture and the Korean mind vs. here. How they match, or how they don't match and how why do some things matter so much to them, and then she might say it is only a drama. Which I will reply, well it is in the drama, so in one form or the other that is based on the society as a whole. I won't go on too much into this, but we have fun!

That is all for now!

On Becoming a Father (Soon. . . )

I will becoming a father sometime in early to mid-September as many of you know. What does that mean??

Many things:
Fear - life is over as we know it. I am becoming an old man and will now start dying soon. Will I be a good father??
Excited - About becoming a dad to a new daughter.
Crazy
Worried
Stressed - Financially and everything else. . .

Hi Everyone ~

I just wanted to give an update after I got married. . . now I am a happy married man!

Anyway, I wanted to just pose some thoughts and if you have any opinions or anything you can comment. So, we got married and her parents came and her second sister came from Sydney. Except still no one knows other thann that in Korea or her oldest sister and two nephews in Sydney, which is still frustrating and a little hard to get my head around.

Which brings me to my point. . . I have felt like we are in exile here in America because we can't talk or really tell any of our friends at church in Seoul still. People that care about us and think about us often too, but because of Korean culture we can't say anything till who knows when. . ??
Anyway, I have emailed a friend a couple of times now without saying anything, but at the same time saying some things. I can trust this person and knows this person cares, but I am still afraid to be open or say too much. Like I have said, "everyone is okay here in America, or we have found a Korean church so that is good, etc. . ." The thing is everyone knows, but it was never official or brought out in the open, but I don't know. I want to say yes, I am with her we got married, etc. . but I don't know. What could happen??
Maybe I shouldn't, but I really wish I could tell someone or open up to someone still in Korea who knows everything, but not like I would like it to be.

Any thoughts?? Should I just keep my mouth shut or should I try to be more honest with this friend (knowing that he will keep my trust)??

Does anyone read this blog?? I'll give you a couple of days to respond. . . I'll check back soon!

The weather has started off wonderful this week. . . and should be good on Saturday too!! ^^ Today, we went to get our marraige license and some last minute stuff for the wedding, so that is exciting. My fiance's parents are coming Friday night from Seoul and her older sister from Sydney, so that is also exciting! Everything helps that puts you in a better mood, despite the economic crisis that we are ourselves kind of in the middle of. . . but let's not get into this on this perfectly bright post!

Congratulations to my friends who got married on Saturday in Mexico!!

Our Wedding

Hi, I just wanted to post again after a long while, the first one back in America.

Just wanted to give you an update on our upcoming wedding on March 21st. It has been fun planning probably since we picked the date way back about the first week of January. It is a rather small wedding and we invited quite a few people knowing that quite a few of those wouldn't be able to make it ~ which is all good! I have been pretty much the "bride" and my parents like the "bride's parents" because we have had to plan everything. I am really happy how things have turned out though and we have taken care of almost all the details including flowers and guest favors, etc. It should be fun and we are really happy that her parents are coming from Seoul and her sister from Sydney. I look forward to being able to show pictures from this day after the event of course. . . exciting!!

What is not exciting is having to do all the paperwork and send in all the money (expensive) for the visa part after we get married. It really is ridiculous all the hurdles you have to go through, I am all about protecting the country, but come on!