Does anyone else have this problem?

I am going to Massachusetts to an exclusive area on Saturday and will be there till sometime next Wednesday. Well, that is if I leave because leaving on Wednesday is kind of strange. I am supposed to call the airline at like 9:00 AM and tell them I missed my 6:15 AM flight so I can get on the next flight. Its only a $25 fee compared to a higher amount to change flights before.

Anyway, back to my main problem. I have a little nightmare that I am going to be not dressed up enough while I am there or that at the wedding I am going to be so undressed it will be embarrassing. I know the bride is the main part of the wedding, but I don't want to stick out so bad that Clinton and Stacy from What Not to Wear or tracking me down while my friend is walking down the isle. Like was I supposed to order a custom made suit? Because I got news I didn't. I mean like tomorrow I am going to buy a tie and a belt, but can I really wear a navy jacket with a black belt and black shoes? I just hope the whole five days that I am there I look good enough to be on the East Coast. . . This is really causing anxiety here!
(Okay, without thinking that I am a homosexual or that vain. . . Most of this was just being funny and sarcastic. Well, most being the key word there.)

On to other news, I have decided that dating is a relative term of a relationship that two people may or may not be in at any given time. For instance, a lot of people don't really ever define a relationship as dating, but a lot of people might classify them as dating or make assumptions. Like two people might be hanging out to see if they really like each other better, they might be getting together to only watch movies (but they aren't socializing at all), they might be getting together to make out or do other stuff. My point is only this what is dating and why do people need to always be defining their relationships? Or once two people do start dating why is the relationship all of a sudden have to take on a new meaning or go to some "other level" which where is the categories of "levels" listed? You know. . . some good and wise friends of mine said often at a certain time in my life that I liked the idea of having a girlfriend or having a relationship, which I would agree on. But now that is not it. . . it is more like what if I really don't want to throw myself in or commit to a dating a relationship when I don't even know how strongly I feel towards a person. Not saying that I am dating or not dating someone right now. . . because dating is relative.
(This is supposed to be on the comical side too.)
HAHAHA to this whole post - it is silly!

STRESS! (well a little anyway)

I don't know if I ever thought I would say it. . . but lately I have been feeling a little bit of burn out around international students. Maybe some of this has to do with the turning into a little bit of an ESL teacher this summer for like twenty six hours a week and then another ten hours doing conversation groups. The schedule is so random too. . . but anyway I don't know. This week my goal is to get proper sleep I think so I am full rested everyday ready to work with the students I am working with. I am hoping also that next week when I am in Cape cod for five days that it will be somewhat relaxing, but fun!

I found out how much I owe in student loans today because I am consolidating before the interest rates go up again. It isn't that much. . . but it is still another bill I am going to have to be aware of every month starting in December.

I think I am going to go ahead and put an apartment application next week with my friend. My parents will not be happy but once the application is in and if we get accepted that will be final. Maybe I'll tell them a couple of weeks before move in day, but they know my current lease ends at the end of July. Hopefully though I'll have a job secured by the middle of July or something. I had an interview this week with the school district for paraeducator positions, they are hiring like 50 something throughout the district. Surely I can one of those. . . it doesn't pay enough but it would be enough to get me through I think. Plus possibly be tutoring a student or two too.

My friend got back from her trip to China last night. It was nice to see her and talk to her. . . it could be safe to say that I probably did miss her. I still don't know.

Lately God has been giving me an exciting task! I am like a missionary here in Kansas to international students especially students from the Middle East who are Islamic. I have been asked a lot lately about my religion and what I believe in, etc. I am also reading a book right now called Inside Islam. God is working up here and Kansas with all these students and it is awesome to me that He is using me in whatever aspect.

Oh by the way I did watch the Mexico vs. Argentina World Cup Game today. Although my dad is in Buenos Aires right now I was cheering for Mexico! It was a very exciting game I thought. . . but Mexico did muy bien!

TODAY

8:00 Wake-up and prepare for the day.
9:10 - 10:10sh Conversation Group on campus in the union
10:15sh Deposit money in the bank
10:30-12:20 Tutored student from Libyia in English (every morning - times vary)
12:45 Went to bookstore in union and bought three books for children to use in my English tutoring sessioins. ($50, maybe get some of that back if studetns buy the books from me)
1:00-2:00 Conversation Group
2:00 - 3:35sh Met with new student from China that I will be tutoring twice a week for two hours in his apartment
3:45 - 4:50 Went home and walked the dog, had about ten minutes to relax
5:00 - 7:00 Met with student from Saudi Arabia that I tutor everyday for two hours (next week 5-8)
7:00 - on Read some, cook some chicken for tomorrow, take Bear out, shower, and reveiw maybe the 10 articles that an international stduent sent me!!!

Bed time soon and tomorrow I'll start at about 7:30. I have a job interview tomorrow at 1 for a paraprofessional position in the school district here. And I will do only five hours of English conversation/tutoring tomorrow!

By the way the lady called me tonight about the Adult ESL Teacher position here. She offered the position to another person, which is kind of a let down!

This is life!

Que pasa con T.

I am still reading Cien anos de soledad slowly but surely. I keep getting distracted by other books and such. Like when I was at home this weekend I went to Barnes and Noble and bought Jorge Ramos's autobiography Atravesando Fronteras. I like it so far, interesting like I would expect it to be. I feel a little embarrassed sometimes that I have this sense of admiration toward the guy, which I will meet him someday, jaja! No really it is not like he is super famous. . . its like when I was a little kid and thought Michael Jordan was so cool because he was an awesome basketball player. But anyway I am probably one of the few gringos in these parts who knows who Senor Ramos is.

But on to other news I have been busy. I started to work for the Applied English Center on campus again for the summer until a job comes fourth. I am doing about ten hours a week there for $6.50/hour. I am also tutoring two students in English for two hours a day Monday-Friday for ten hours a week at $5/hour. Then I might be starting to work with another student some for $10/hour possibly. I have not advertised or anything like that and students come up to me and just want me to tutor them for money. Interesting. . . something I love to do and get paid for it! But I am finding out that it is more than that, I have to prepare stuff and my mind does get tired from it all sometimes. (That is why I am reading books in Spanish and watching TV in Spanish when I can - gives me mind a break!) But I really had a good job interview last Friday for an Adult ESL Teacher with the school district here. It would be part-time but I could do that and maybe tutor one or two students each week and I would be good.

By the way I told my friend who I am planning on living with next year that I am 98% sure that I am going to go through it even if I don't have a real job by then. Somehow it will work out and I'll make it through next year. My dad doesn't want me to sign a lease, he doesn't understand why I want to stay here. I am not going to have any money and on and on. He told me that if I sign a lease then that is it, I am on my own to pay for everything because they aren't going to help me. They will see me for Christmas because that is the only time I'll be able to afford to go home! But I cannot live at home with my family again, I can't! I am going to be poor next year like scraping pennies, but I am convinced something or somehow it is going to work. Maybe I have been spoiled my whole life and I need a wake up call on what real life really is like.

I think that is it for now. There is a lot of stuff going on it seems like and life is a bit stressful with pressure and everything. But I am getting through and it is all good and will be good! I think I will stop here though. . . feel free to contact me about whats up with me though, we can chat!

T's Book Club

This morning I finished Persuasion by Jane Austen. I found this book to be enjoyable and easy to get through at a quick pace. It was true to Jane Austen form with the characters and language, but this story in some way I think was funnier than other Jane Austen books. The main character Anne is in love with captain Wentworth the whole book and he loves her. They were engaged at one point before the story began eight and a half years ago, but she broke it off because her closest acquaintances convinced her to because he was poor. Well, comes to find out not to much later he does make a lot of money and it looks Anne made a mistake. But she never admits that because it was her duty to follow the persuasions of Lady Russell (a mother character to her.) Well, the story is how Anne and Captain Wentworth become known to each other again through common acquaintances and what follows. They were both jealous of each other at points, but would or could never say anything because of social rules and such. The funniest character in the whole book of course had to be Mary, Anne's sister who married into a family with enough money to take care of her for life. But she never seems to fit in with this well to do family and is always complaining about how hard life is and to raise her obnoxious kids. Haha - especially since Anne comes for a couple of months and for the most part the kids mind her. Pretty much Mary is spoiled or think she is above raising her own kids properly I guess. In this book and in most of Jane Austen's book where there is a woman and a man who usually always end up happy together by the end know the other person so well. For example, Anne and Capitan Wentworth like do not even have to talk or look each other that long but they can look at the person's face and its like they know or feel what the other person is. I mean that is love, but the thing is that even when they know with a 100% certainty what the other person thinks or feels on a certain subject it means nothing, its like their torture. A torture to know a person so well and to be in love with that person but think you will never be with them. And then by the end the two characters always are happy and surprised that they ended up together. And then and only then can they really open up and converse with that person freely. I cannot imagine. . . I think if I loved a woman and had to wait that long to be able to talk openly with them I would explode. I would not probably be esteemed as a person with social manners and order because I would just want to talk to someone rather it was socially acceptable or not. Overall, I liked Persuasion for its humor, complicatedness, and for a general good story.

First things first, who thinks I need to change my blog layout because you do not like it for whatever reasons? Let me know. . .

let me tell you how boring my life has been lately. I still have no job, no one is calling me back and I won't know for at least another week on another job if I'll get called for a second interview. I put in an application here at the public school district here for something maybe. . .It isn't social work but its close. This whole transition stage really isn't as much fun as it is cracked up to be, it actually is stressful. At this point I am living week to week and nothing more, do what I have to do. But I have to focus on the positives like next week I have my job that I had on campus for as long as needed or until the end of July which ever comes first. It is only about 10 hours a week though and some training working with international students, which I love so it is a win win situation!

but for the time being I have a lot of things to do: books, TV, and the beach at the lake. Right now I am reading cien anos de soledad, in Spanish as much as I can take at one sitting. Usually about one or two chapters at a time before my brain gets tired. I am also reading persuasion, by Jane austen. I am liking it so far, it is truly Jane austin form and it is kind of funny in a humorous way. I also borrowed my friend's book desiring god and will probably start that at some point. On to other news I have seen four movies in like three weeks over the hedge, the break up, xmen 3, and the da Vinci code. 75% of the da vinci code was boring. Over the hedge was cute and funny. I liked x men 3 all right. I thought the break up was entertaining but remember people it is about a break up and it is yelling and fighting that is why they are breaking up. I think its funny to watch it and the ending is more realistic than everything.

what else? Is it to soon to talk about a new person who happens to be a girl that I might be starting to hang out with more? You guessed it too if you think she is not from the us, she is from Ethiopia. But anyway. . .

okay, well in true teenage superficial form the hills is on tonight, the continuation of the show Laguna beach on mtv. haha, I think it is funny, but the one girl is not bad to look at!